debt and death

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by swimmergirl, Apr 23, 2009.

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  1. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    I have not paid a credit card bill in like 7 months after losing my job last year, now I don't know what to do, the collection companies are hounding me, i can't pay off the debts, i can barely pay my mortgage, I have totally fucked everything up, i just want to die from the shame of it and because I don't see a way out, I have ruined my life, what an asshole I turned out to be, can't even pay my bills, I don't deserve to live. I am afraid to tell anyone about this , but I feel like I am going to explode from the stress of it. I just want to make it stop, I can't take it anymore.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    oh sweetie,
    i know you are so scared :sad:

    it is better, if you try to seek some credit/debt counseling. they do have free services, google for them, and they will work with your credit cards to negotiate a reduced payment and set up a payment plan.

    and you should talk to your bank or whomever holds your mortgage, as soon as possible

    things CAN be arranged, if you meet them, straight on.
    you can work out a plan and you WILL feel better - once you are not in hiding.

    i know it is scary
    pm if you want to talk
    i'd be happy to help you find a credit counseling agency in your area -

    big hugs. . . . xx
  3. kote

    kote Account Closed

    i know how you feel about the debts and card companies.
    i did the same when i was younger.
    i just upped and left the country though but i hear they still send letters now and again. i had really maxed everything out.
    i did a bit of research - uk - that after 6 years of no contact and no acknowledgement of the debts the card companies dont have a leg to stand on.
    infact they often sell your debt to a collector at a precentage of the actual debt. then they go from collector to collector effectively reducing the debts value. you can negotiate with the card company and set a payment rate as the last thing they want you to do is declare bankruptcy and then they get nothing.
    as for your house - thats very precious so go direct to the bank and be honest and set up a later date for paying them back.
    all companies want their money back so are reasonable if you make a promise of a payment plan.
    they use scare tactics as these are most effective. but please remember these are huge financial instituions and have many people like you on their books. no one is losing any sleep there, as its all numbers on a computer and shareholders dividends.
    you havent harmed anyone and the debt is more a debt of guilt than of finance as you can easily declare bankruptcy with honour. and start fresh.
    there is light at the end of the tunnel and its not suicide. there are plenty of ways of dodging the debt. just get good advice.
    and please relax and put those letters in a box and have a rest for a while.
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 23, 2009
  4. asri

    asri Well-Known Member

    i totally agree with the PP. probably u can contact ur local CAB and get some help. what about family that can help u out and u can etch out a plan to pay them back as u can? worse comes to worse,u can think of declaring bankruptcy.. surely that is better than killing urself over this?
  5. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    ASRI is right. The bankrupcty option might be one to consider. I am going thru that now, and I THANK GOD that we are doing so.

    I know the fear of that debt. But, do you know how good it feels to tell those collection agencies to F&#% off, when you are telling them you are filing for bankrucpty? It is awesome feeling!
  6. Crue-K

    Crue-K Well-Known Member

    Fuck trying to arrange a payment plan with them. Petition for bankruptcy, pay your fee and have a weight lifted off your shoulders. The bankruptcy will be discharged after 12 months (in England & Wales) then you can start over. There is a common misconception that a debt repayment plan (IVA) is less severe than bankruptcy, they are both considered equally severe from the point of a underwriter when assessing someone for credit.

    Please don't harm yourself over debt problems :smile:
  7. swimmergirl

    swimmergirl Well-Known Member

    yeah, i think i am going to go the bankruptcy route since my credit is fucked up already from not paying and the debt being sold to a collection company.

    Anyone know any good lawyers in Illinois for this?

    It is such a horrible feeling, but you guys are right, it can be solved and i can start over. I am just guilty and ashamed, but i think in time that will lessen. As for the house, i am hanging on, the bank won't do anything until I am actually late, although I don't know how this whole bankruptcy thing works with assets like your house and car??

    i guess i will find out?
  8. Cascadia

    Cascadia Member

    Sadly you aren't the only person who this is happening to. In Washington state almost 10% of everyone is unemployed (although one good thing is they seem to get unemployment for almost a year) Everyone's credit is being hammered even huge multi-national banks and auto companies had to beg for money so you didn't do anything to be ashamed of.

    My sister is losing her business after 15 years and her husband is not all that supportive since she is declaring personal bankruptcy which impacts his credit as well. You can still get credit cards though. Start with a balance one where you bascially just depost money that is equal to the line of credit. Also when you get some debt reduction you often only have to pay a percentage of what you owe.

    Your house is always protected in bankruptcy and there are some special programs to help people but you need to be working to show that you can pay the loans back. In the meantime you can check out the governemnt web site that explains the mortgage programs.

    It is soo hard to realize it is "just money' but I can promise you that millions of people are in the same situation and you just need to break it down into small steps each day. doing nothing is the worst possible way to handle it.,3947211&_dad=portal&_schema=PORTAL
  9. Advent

    Advent Well-Known Member

    Well , I thought that today I would phone up the bank and sort things out... If only it were that easy....

    Like swimmergirl, I too am in all sorts of bother with my money, all I get (here in the uk) is my IB and DLA which to be honest is nothing compared to the real cost of living, or should that be existing ?.

    Anyway the bank wont help me and the everybody wants their share of the megre benefits that I get, to the point where again this month I will have to go without food for 2 days at a time just to make that money last.

    I looked at the bankruptcy method, for which in the UK at least costs £400 just to proceed...... how can this be, surly if you have no money, how on earth can the £400 be paid - thats is the whole point about being bankrupt

    Anyway, I am back to square one, no idea how I dig myself out of this one. I trip to the Citizens advise my be on the cards.

    Dont worry swimmergirl, you are not alone.

  10. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    I know debt is very stressful but please take care of your own needs before paying the banks and credit cards off. You count more and, trust me, these banks do not need your money--their CEOs are doing way better than any of us are so it is more important to take care of YOURSELF before taking care of them. It isn't like you are a spoiled person maxing out your credit cards over luxury cars and designer clothing!
  11. Advent

    Advent Well-Known Member

    Thanks Belladonna, but these organisations dont take to not being paid, yes I know they dont need my money to survive - unlike me, but they only add more charges on when you dont pay them, this then snowballs into a huge debt , far far exceeding the cost of the original one.

    These companies have no morals, no sence of empathy no nothing - they want their money and they want it NOW.

    An example is my car insurance , which I have just cancelled as I cant afford to run it anymore. The debt to pay of the outstanding balance started at £44, this has now risen to £102 because I could not pay them when they wanted it, I offered to pay them in small amounts per week, but they said NO they want it all at once.

    You cant reason with these peolpe, they are not human.

  12. ok heres what can help if you are in the uk:
    Teh cab can unfortunatly take sevarel weeks to respond, but in the meanwhile this is what to do:

    Do a spread sheet of incomings what you need to live and what debt you have . Then list the debits with a prorated offer of repayment out of the money you have left.

    Did you know in the uk if you are taken to court over a debt and prove your income is low enough you can pay as little as 1 pound a month towards it no matter how big the debt?

    Fuel bill: ok we all get bitten by this, if you are on benefits you can apply through your benefits office for Fuel Direct they take a small amount to pay your bills and the energy comapnies cant touch you

    Plus all 6 major energy companies in the uk have charties you can apply too to clear your debt, you may as well apply thy can only say no.

    I really hope this makes sense if you need help with any of it feel free to pm me ok, good luck

    be wary of debt advice companies as they can charge massive fees CAB are the best to approach, but in the time it takes to see them you can do all this :biggrin:
  13. Belladonna

    Belladonna Well-Known Member

    Sorry, I wasn't thinking about things like health and car insurance where they can pull the policy and leave you screwed. I'm not sure how to reason with people like that or what you have tried. They are so stupid sometimes where if you can't pay the normal fee, are you really going to be able to pay the late charges accrued? Is it possible to negotiate a reduced payment through the help of non-profit credit counselors? I'm sure you've tried it, I'm at a loss with how unfair this system is.
  14. Advent

    Advent Well-Known Member

    Thanks Richard, I didn`t know any of that.

    Its just so blooddy annoying that they all appear to want ALL of the money instead of paying in installments _ I have no problems clearing my debts, but why cant they understand that paying the whole amount at once is not an option for me .......ahhhhhhh. I have to wait for my money, so why cant they???.

    I will look into your suggestions online now.


  15. No worries end of the day you need to show them you dont have the money, if they took you to court you can show them the statement you did and the court would turn round and say well they cant pay with what they haven't got

    If you did go to the CAB they would help you complete a statement and help you send it to each company, but if its worrying you this much:sad: why not take a postive step to resolve it.

    once again if you need any help i am here, i know how overwhelming it can be
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