Decided to do it soon

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Mordeci, Jun 30, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    After years of contemplating what is wrong and working towards a better life I finally figured out what is wrong with my life and that suicide is my only option out. "You aspired to greatness when you were younger, but either through lack of industry or lack of discipline or simply lack of genius you didn't achieve greatness. The years go by and you realise: 'I'm this mid-level guy.' I did the best I could" and there in lies the problem. All my life I thought I was special, that I was capiable of doing great things and I realised today that well frankly I am not, I did the best I could but I am still just one in a million, and that's my problem I can't live like that. I see my father wake up, go to work, go home, and go to sleep, and then do the entie routine the next day, like a zomibe, with no emotion or hapiness or anything like that and I knew at a very young age that I can't live like that, in fact I would rather die, so thats what I am going to do, not today but soon, once I get my affairs in order. I will never achive what I hope to achive and living like everyone else just seems to painful and honestly boring, and I if this is all that life has to offer me, I would rather not take it.
  2. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Mordeci. Ok, if I understood your post properly, you're unhappy becauase you refuse to lead a mundane, average life like your father. There really isn't anything wrong with having a normal, mundane life. I am only one in about 6.5 billion people. Everyone is unique, but most people will lead relatively 'normal' lives. One of the reasons I don't particularly like celebrities is that people overly admire them and think that if they don't become rich and famous, then their lives are meaningless. Life is what you make of it.
  3. Surely Not

    Surely Not Well-Known Member

    This is something that I completely understand.

    However, everyone dreams of being special and doing something great, but very few people do. I understand not being satisfied with being average and having an average life, but is that really a reason to end it all? And just because you haven't achieved greatness doesn't mean that you have to live an average life.

    There is always a chance that something extraordinary will happen to you.
  4. You don't have to get the same career as your dad with a routine. What did you plan to achieve in life exactly?
  5. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    It's not about my father per-se (I do got parent issuese though) it's just I imagined something extrodinary for my life and I have a real hard time coming to grips that my life will be I go to school, get a job, and die, it seems so boring and just not worth the agrevation of going on living like this, in complete misery.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2010
  6. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    Actually you can do something great and be somebody. But it starts with you. You do not need to be super smart or super rich. All you need is to open your mind, <mod edit-gentlelady-preaching> I am a human being too, and I have a normal everyday life, but it is far from boring. I know my purpose, and I am satisfied with my purpose for now, and what my purpose will be when the time comes in the future. There are promises out there that are trust worthy and amazing. You can be a part of it. <mod edit-gentlelady-preaching>
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2010
  7. isocial

    isocial Active Member

    i can understand your feelings Mordeci. I think you has a capability to do,keep on trying to be special and finally you will reach your goal.
    i believe you can archive your goal.
  8. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    You can follow a routine, and bring bits of yourself to it.
  9. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    Ordinary mundane lives are what keep societies stable and afford everybody a comfortable quality of life. Your father is earning a legitimate living by contributing a service to your community, paying taxes and running a household and that all may not be glamorous but it is very commendable. Garbage men, landscapers, cafeteria workers, stock persons at Walmart all are providing valuable services to maintain our relatively high quality of life and most of them are happy enough- good enough is great.

    People like us with depression are always seeking counterbalancing "highs" from unnecessary purchases or risk taking or wishing for the rush of admiration. I hope you stick out the pain and go on to a "good enough" career and family of your own. There are many intensely rewarding experiences in an ordinary life like raising a compassionate future generation or seeing how your life's work has enriched other peoples lives.

    I hope that doesn't sound like flowery, cliche' ridden Dr. Phil bullish#t.
  10. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    I understand that you don't want an ordinary life,but you CAN create an extraordinary one if you truly want to. I think it's great that you have such ambitions and dreams. I'm sure you are special person and you just haven't yet learned where you need to be. Don't give up. You can live any kind of life you want. Don't allow your life to be what you don't want. If you give it everything you have you CAN make an extraordinary life. I'll pray for you and hope you do too. You can achieve what you want. PLEASE don't give up. We will like you here no matter what you do and will always care. I think you can have the life you want.

    Please write me if you like,

  11. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Thanks everyone but nothing has gone right in my life and I am tired of working for an ordinary happy life, I think it is time to end it.
  12. Perfect Melancholy

    Perfect Melancholy SF Friend

    You see in my eyes (and you can call me simple for this I do not mind) we are all special and unique, we may not achieve greatness or glory sometimes what we do goes un-noticed. But we are here together as one, maybe you have touched many lives and not realised, maybe you are yet to touch many more. Who knows what you can achieve. I do know this it is hard and near as damn impossible to achieve anything with depression, trust me I am there. When the thoughts are in your mind, it is crippling like a disease and it eats away at you how can we expect to achieve anything while we are battling our thoughts?

    I will say this suicide is not the answer, giving up no please don't. Stay talking to us, one day this pain will pass and you will be able to do anything you want too. I really hope this makes sense, take care of yourself and be gentle on you.

  13. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    Misery? have you lived in Africa with malaria as your only companion since your mom and dad died of AIDS and you had to sell your sister as a prostitute so you could eat today? Life doesn't have to be about living like a Zombie for Uncle Sam. Breakout while you still can coz schools' out forever!
  14. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    I'm sorry to hear that you have given up Mordeci. I really don't believe that killing yourself because your life is mundane and boring is a justifiable reason to end your life, but it's really up to you. Most people are destined to live ordinary, mundane lives, yet the majority of people do not kill themselves. Take time and really think about this before deciding to end it.
  15. Mordeci

    Mordeci Banned Member

    Yeah I see your point, but that dosen't really solve anything. Yes people in Africa and other parts of the world have it worse but really so what, that dosen't help me and my problem. So because people have it worse I should just suck it up right, I think your attitude is a patronizing, to by the way.
  16. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    Sorry if you thought I was being patronizing. I wasn't I genuinely want you to be okay and feel you have something to live for. It's not about sucking it down at all - no way. Just that you have to see the world from a different perspective. You recognize that you are unhappy with your life that is the start of doing something about it. So, try to do something practical to change it. Don't be fatalistic about things. Life throws up lots of surprises that make life worthwhile even if it just for a few minutes, months or years but you can still be happy.
  17. DeAdwOrLD

    DeAdwOrLD Well-Known Member

    I see your point too, believe me, i know what you're talking about i've been to that place of no return where you wanna throw everything in and pull the plug. Life is pretty sad no matter what I've seen it with my own eyes where I've been. But I think you are important and you can do lots of incredible things with your life. I know changing is difficult we're not superheroes this is real life, the Grind, the constant crap we have to see everyday brings us down, but you gotta have hope cause you are here and alive. You may not want to be but you are and the gotta be cool. Anyways, I think you are great person. From what you say and how you express yourself it's obvious to everyone here. I just think you should hold on, Im not saying things will suddenly fit into place but you have the intelligence and will to be something more than what you perceive yourself to be now.
  18. Marty482

    Marty482 Well-Known Member

    You don't have to live the life you are. I just said aprayer for you, hope you do too.Maybe you need opther people's input and ideras because you have been going it alone for so long. You are not alone here and we will brainstorm and offer ideas until it starts to work. Give us your burdens for a while. Tell us what you want from life and let's create a plan for you to get it.If the plan doesn't work as good as we thought then we adjust and pan and adjust till you get it. YOU can have anything you want. Let's make a plan and sweat and worrk and get you happy!!!! Tell us what would make you happy,then let's set out a way to get it!!!!

    Write if you like,

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.