In a short period of time I'll either be dead or at hospital in the most severe condition. Though what I am going to jump is something so high that if I do happen to survive it will be called a bloody miracle. How do I feel? Happy. Am I even a tiny bit afraid of the deed ahead? No. Do I have in my most depressed mind at least a tiniest bit of will to live? Nope. The world holds no meaning whatsoever for me, anymore. For background I guess I could say I've been abused and wronged in my life so badly it's a wonder I'm not in the front of every newspaper there even is. Everything I have ever believed in has been raped, everything anyone has ever believed in has been raped and jumped on in front of my very watching eyes. Why would I live? Maybe it is indeed rare what has happened to me - but it did and therefore it *is* the reality. For me it is and for me it is this world. Why would I want to live in a world where there is nothing more beyond anguish, malevolence and people acting as if psychopaths? I cannot even begin to explain how sick and tired I am - of everything. And I just don't care. It's as simple as this regarding to how is it that I feel: I just don't care. I just want to go away, and for good. This post holds no point whatsover, I am not going to change my mind and I'm definitely not pro-life but I just felt the need for a rhapsody.