Decided

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Blacky, Sep 16, 2013.

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  1. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Okay I decided,
    I can't hold on anymore, I want the pain to go away I can't tell my friend that I'm feeling like shit, because I will not put her through hell again.
    So, I don't think I will survive this day or night or week or whatever...time.
    Pain increases and I can't find hope.

    So, a quote for today...

    “I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't.”
    ― Susanna Kaysen
     
  2. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    Don't , I don't know why but don't do it. You have a friend who cares about you! I care. Just hang on and things can change.
     
  3. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Still alive, barely... talked with my friend about it but I don't get it...why does she want me to hold on, it's not like I'm a superhero or something. When does things change? It still hurts...
     
  4. Sparrow91

    Sparrow91 Well-Known Member

    No not a super hero just someone important. Things can change, what do you like to do? Try and do your favorite things. It's hard..I know I just try to think about what it would do to others if I went away an it would probably hurt them but it hurts me too to stay, yea they say they care but do I believe it no. And I think that it could be in my head. When I tell you I care that your friend cares try and believe it because its true, My friend killed themselves years ago, thought no one cared but everyone did, I still think about him .
     
  5. msh

    msh Member

    Why do you even need them to care? Why does your self-worth, whether you commit suicide or not should be based on if someone "cares"?
    So you think the reason you are here on this planet is so that somebody cares about you?
    You are here, you have one shot, start living life as if nobody cares about you (highly unlikely which that is true), it can still be a meaningful life. Self-sufficiency, you are all you need to live, your own mind and thoughts can be a heaven for you.
     
  6. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Or it can be ur own hell at the same time. Sorry, I'm not a nice or happy replier, that's just me.
    I just can't see what's worth living for? I mean, life is a nightmare.
    I can't deal with the pain anymore...
    And I know that u are all nice persons and I appreciate this so much,
    but if u could give me an answer...
    an answer for the pain to go away...
    I would probably do what you're saying...
     
  7. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    Just want the pain to end and to be "normal" and not the freak anymore :/
     
  8. msh

    msh Member

    I don't know if you have tried it or not, but pharmaceuticals can really help. They don't make you a happy person all of a sudden but they definitely take off the pain. The constant stream of negative thoughts will just stop.

    Trust me, I have been severely depressed and suicidal, I still am, but the pain is much more tolerable. Have you been to a psychiatrist?
    The least they can do, is to make you forget. They make you not think about anything at all. I think if you really want to kill yourself, give this a shot before you do it.

    Cases of major depression are usually successfully treated by medications, because it usual stems from some kind of brain malfunction.
    It makes you rationalize, make up reasons for not wanting to live, not seeing the point to live, makes you notice things other people don't.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 18, 2013
  9. Blacky

    Blacky Well-Known Member

    I tried and the med made it worse, so I'm not gonna try again.
    The thing is I have no depression at all or something else, I'm just freaking sad all the time.
    My life was just messed up all the time...
    I just wish I could change my life and I know I can't so this is making me sad.
    My psychologist said I mabye have PTSD because I have flashbacks and everything and yeah...that is my main problem.
    I don;t wanna think about everything that happend nor want I take meds because people in my school can reallt be mean...
    They making already cutting jokes so... :p
    Yeah, I and I know u all wanna help and I really appreaciate this :)
     
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