Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sunshinesblack, Nov 5, 2010.

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  1. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    Well I had it
    whenever i see normal people it makes me cry cause i see I dont have place among them and my parents make my cry cause they are senile and discussing
    Its horrible to see walking ded.
    I am to afraid to see what follows
    I barely can get my thoughts together, should and my life whylie i still can
    Im getting my method material next week and tring to od. God please one show some mercy and make it work.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Eva, you sound like the intact one among the others which must be so difficult and so demanding...please know we are here and continue to talk to us...there are ppl here who truly care...big hugs, J
  3. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Hi Eva. Please reconsider your suicide plans. Your parents are old and need you now more than ever, because they are suffering from dementia. Unfortunately, we will all grow old and senile one day. I know that it must be hard seeing them like that, but instead of checking out, you can help make the last years of their life more enjoyable. Just a thought. :hug:
  4. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    hi, sunshine. im sorry you are suffering so bad right now. i hope you reconsider and im here if you need someone to talk to.
  5. DeepEmz

    DeepEmz Well-Known Member

    Please reconsider your decision Eva, we are here to try to help you and support you.. Each time you feel down or about taking your life please just come online and speak to us.. remember you are never alone, somebody is always here.
  6. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    haha, I am not going to do it soon that's for sure, just read an article on what happens in nicotine poisoning ,first you get system overload than respiratory failure not the other way around as I thought, So since im such a coward ill live, yey me :D Sould have note read it and just do it, now am just looking at myself go from week to weaker
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    How are you feeling Eva?
  8. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    who cares, seriously, I want another life, this one I keep turning it on all faces and none r worth it.
    Am on meds so I feel medicated, there should be a word for that since is quite unique, the chemical changes and the way your conscience perceives them and how they interact. How they make you live without meaning and making you do things that depress u and would anyone.
  9. steve6

    steve6 Account Closed

    It's unfair for any parent to have their kids look after them. try moving out ? get a bit of you time :) it might make you a bit happier ?
  10. sudut

    sudut Well-Known Member

    please do not o.d. keep on posting.
  11. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    eh, am on mirtazepine cant od :D smart doc
    and regarding my parents I feel nothing for them, I have my reasons, you get what you give

    Id like to move out or do anything that implied I had that ammount of money but since where dirt poor, am severy depressed, always get mobbed and jobs dont pay that well to live on my own (would have to have roomates) I am stuck here
    Was job hunting just the other day but it really depresses me ill have to face healthy people
  12. steve6

    steve6 Account Closed

    I whent out with a bag of clothes, a sleeping bag and a tent when I was 16. I hiked 30 mile to a forest and stayed there 6 months. No money and little food but still it was the best 6 months I had that I could remember.
    No circumstances are ever the same but mine were similar to yours. My life was good for a few years after that and even though I am in a bad place now it is a good thing I at least got a few extra years in.

    Just remember you only get one chance and if you end it with out trying to make it better you won't have a second chance.
    It's like gambeling with somthing you have just thrown in the bin. It won't matter if you loose because you were going to throw it away anyway but if you win then it's a great benifit.
  13. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    How are you feeling today Eva? :hug:
  14. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    good for you steve, i I envy you
    how old r u now? erm and what did you eat 6 months? and where did you get the tent? :D And what did you do after the six months?
    I have a feeling my circumstances are seriously not like yours, lol
    I dont have the health for it anymore, I gambled all there is to gamble.
    I run away from home for a day when I was 14 and slept in the attic of another building because my parents where driving me nuts even than but since i did not have other option I had to return home. No one ever liked me, my parents where the first not to but I always get mobbed and harassed since whenever I can remember, I should have killed myself long ago, but till I had my health I was still hopeful and tried, but I dont have it anymore.

    Just got my first moldamin injection for streptococci infection which I was prone to all my life, have to take another 3 in the next weeks to rid of it. And am wondering where ill get the money for the complex dental work I need. Already had 2 surgeries for tooth root infection. It takes money and a home to not live them spread and rot alive.
    I would not be here if I felt i still had choices or what to gamble.
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