decided

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by takencontrol, Dec 3, 2010.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    i know what i want and feel relieved that i can do what i need to do to end this pain. i cannot go through this anymore and have to end this horrible pain.
     
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Please tell us what is going on and why you feel so awful...there are ppl here who really care...big hugs, J
     
  3. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    You're really going through the mill at the moment aren't you Brownie? I think you need to consider going into hospital. I know thats a big step but you need proper care and attention. You need to be somewhere where someone else provides your meals and does the cleaning etc. You need some time out.
    Please seek more help before you do anything stupid. You can't leave your girls without a mother, it will destroy their lives. Give it another try, your girls are worth that.
    xxxx
     
  4. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    I agree you need to be somewhere safe where you can get looked after - you deserve it x
     
  5. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    hey catherine how u doing ?
     
  6. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Me to brownie, I know it can be a scary thing to do, but you need to let others know exactly how bad your doing.

    Call the doc again, tell them that this is an emergency situation, that you need to see someone now.

    Know those good feelings your feeling now are coming from a bad place, its trying to confuse you because youve made a decision that you can see an end to, but those feelings are not true to you, please your children need you. I know you get tired of hearing that, I know you say how am I even helping them, you just being there being their mother is helping.
     
  7. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    you know what its time i said some stuff. i come here because i needed to talk to people in the same situation as myself, but its like im invisible to some people. theres some great people and thats good but every time i try to talk or even just say hello on chat i get nothing. not helpful guys not fucking helpful at all, in fact you ignorant people helped me decide i must die. thank you.
     
  8. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Brownie, Chat is so hard to talk in about real situations, to me its hard enough trying to follow conversations in there.

    Dont do this, talk to me if you want. Im here, I dont know if I can help but you can vent to me, I will listen.
     
  9. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    no fuck it i dont care anymore.
     
  10. doityourself

    doityourself Well-Known Member

    Brownie, Im sorry, I hope that you see that you have people around you that love you and need you.

    What the hell is up with chat today? Why are so many people complaining about it?
     
  11. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    brownie youll see many people who dont like chat its not easy it moves so quick at least on the forum you can take time to think about whats going to be said your going through some real mood swings and thats normal people here help me get control of mine stay here and take control
     
  12. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    Hey Brownie, I've only just seen your post saying hello, been offline most of the night watching I'm a Celeb.
    I never go in chat so I'm not much use on that score, sorry.
    This is the first time I've seen you get angry and I'm in two minds whether to be pleased about it or not. On the one hand, anger is a much better emotion than depression and its only when you start getting angry that you start fighting for yourself and start to get better. Thats a good sort of anger so I want you to channel all those negative thoughts and feelings into that sort of anger.
    You are a worthwhile person and you deserve to have a peaceful life with all the support that your illness requires.
    Your children deserve to have a mother.
    Get angry Brownie but use that emotion to fight for health.
    Have you thought any about my suggestion that you might need to take some time out in hospital? You sound like you need a rest more than anything. You're running on nervous energy now and that isn't good.
    PM me if you need to. I have to go to bed soon (meds knock me out) but I'll be back in the morning to check on you.
    Sending hugs,
    xxxxx
     
  13. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    hi brownie i hate chat too. i find it very triggering. but i do care about you and hope you can find some comfort from us here in teh forum.

    i agree wiht catherine that it's time to think about going into the hospital. have you ever been? i've been 5 times. it's not as bad as you think, it gives you respite from your thoughts, they try new meds, and there's always a nurse to talk to. it can be very soothing in a weird kind of way. i hope you will consider it.

    don't do anything rash out of anger. i care.
     
  14. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    sorry coming on here was a bad idea i cannot take these kind of knocks.
     
  15. sunshinesblack

    sunshinesblack Well-Known Member

    sorry this is happening i don't like chat either, wish there was another, and it has nothing to do with going to fast or stuff like that
     
  16. Kirsty_Ann

    Kirsty_Ann Well-Known Member

    Noooooooooooooooooo
    I like talking to you; you were the first person i spoke to on here :(
    You've got to come back. . .
    Chat is rubbish; i'm not there :D
    :love:
    :hugtackles:
    xXx
     
  17. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    When you say these kind of knocks, do you mean what happened in chat? Or has anything else upset you?
    I'm really worried about you Brownie, you've got to the stage of depression where you're reacting badly to everything. I don't know what happened when you went into chat but I do know that it isn't worth getting this upset over. Think about it...if one of your girls came home from school and said they were ignored by a group of kids in their class, what would you say to them? Would you tell them to give up completely or would you tell them to 'stuff that lot, they don't deserve you' ?
    You can't allow such a small thing to affect you to this degree and you're only doing that because you're so ill. If your mood was more stable it probably wouldn't have bothered you at all.
    The illness is wearing you out hun and you need some respite from it.
    Come back and let me know you're okay.
    Sending lots of hugs and then some more, xxxxxx
     
  18. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    its just life in general and silly things are pushing me over the edge, ive startted planning my end because i cannot live like this its killing me.....literally.
     
  19. hollowvoice

    hollowvoice Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    please brownie i know its hard but keep going for now atleast
    think what will happen to your kids if you do anything at this time of year
    just put it off for now i beg you
     
  20. takencontrol

    takencontrol Well-Known Member

    im so confused and feel out of control just now.
     
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.