Basically, I have been depressed and struggling for many years. I almost died when I was four from complications of the flu, and if I had a dollar for every time I said I wished I had died then I'd be a millionarre. I've tried to kill myself a dozen times, and I have failed, and I have regretted failing each time. I wish I had killed myself when I first tried, at 12, and now I am 33, and still I havne't done it, and I wish I hadn't had to have lived the last 11 years. Damn it, I'm like a cockroach, I'm hard to kill. But I want to get it over with. To add to that, I am a burden. I am one humongous burden on everyone. I burden my friends, I burden my family, I just had to borrow from them to keep the electric company from shutting off my power, and I even had to go to a church to borrow money. That is pathetic, I am not even their religion but I didn't know where else to turn. I"m now on foodstamps and disibility. I deserve to die. I deserve to suffer majorly. And I have chosen my method, and I will suffer with it, its a painful method. But I am going to (if I do it) arrange it so that strangers find me. I just don't want to hurt anyone. I know that police and paramedics are hardened but I dont' want to traumatize them when they find me hanging there with my face all purple and swollen. I'm sure they'll get over it though, and maybe I'll don a black plastic bag to hide my face. I don't mean to sound flip..... Are there any good reasons why I shouldn't do it?