Decisions decisions......

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Kaos General, Jan 21, 2011.

  1. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Ive been through a lot in my life, experienced a lot of things, good and bad. Ive had to literally go through hell to get where i am today and ive now been clean for 3 years. But npw the reality of what ive done to myself has started.

    Ive got Hepatitis C due to injecting drugs. At the time when i was using i didnt really care, i was using so it didnt really register in my mind. When i got myself clean i had a blood test and found out ive got the hardest type to treat, genotype 1b, which has a 20% success rate of clearing with interferon. For those who dont know interferon is a retro viral which for all intents and purposes is chemotherapy, its also what they give to HIV patients when most other treatments have failed to keep it in check, its really nasty. Nevertheless i still went on it 20% or not, in my mind it was gonna succeed. 6 months of hell i went through when i was on it. I lost my hair, i was stuck to my bed for 2 days after every injection etc. 6 months later it didnt work.

    Now they have brought out a combination therapy alongside with interferon specifically designed for the type that ive got but the success rates are between 50-80%. I have now gotta go through hell for another 6 months in march but this time im hardly optimistic at all. For those who dont know Hep C is a disease of the blood and as such destroys the liver and its the nastiest ways to die. Where i am in relation to it is my liver is showing signs of cirrhosis so this is basically my last chance because if this doesnt work they have given me a life expectancy of between 3-5 years. Im just sick and tired of so called professionals in the NHS giving me hope. I fucking hate them for that. At the same time this wasnt the way i envisaged dying. I didnt come off heroin and crack just to be fucked over like this, i wanted to sorty my life out and have very nearly suceeded, im clean, i have someone i love more than anything and someone who loves me just as much, im getting into the career ive always wanted and yet if this doesnt work its all gonna be taken away. Ive accepted what will happen so thats not the problem, its the people im leaving behind that mean so much to me.

    So yeah im scared, angry and all loved up all at once.
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I know there's nothing I can say that will make it any easier. :hug: It doesn't seem fair that you've fought so hard and made it so far, and yet this still keeps pushing you down. At least 50-80% is better than the 20% you were facing last time. But I know it's hard to hope, when that hope has been taken away before. It gives you a damn good fighting chance though, and you're strong and have fought through worse.
     
  3. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    The thing is to be as happy as i am right now ive had to upset people and that still makes me feel guilty as hell but its something i needed to do, and id still do it again. Its going through 6 months of the worst kind of meds you could imagine and even after all that there is no guarantee it will be gone. Im gonna go through with it though because if theres the slightest chance it will work im all over it, because for the first time in my life i actually have something to look forward to
     
  4. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I'm glad you're going through with it. I know 6 months of hell is a lot to face, probably more than I even realize. But at least there's a good chance it'll work, and you've got a lot to live for and look forward to.
     
  5. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Who knows whats gonna happen.
     
  6. black orchid

    black orchid Well-Known Member

    Like Alison just said 50%-80% is a hell of a lot better chance of success, and this time you won't be on your own.

    You have proved so many people wrong by achieving what you have so far so don't give up hope. I love you to bits and you know that no matter what happens i am going nowhere.
     
  7. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member

    im really sorry to read this :hug:

    Hep is really a fucked up disease, i had OD'ed on paracetamol a few years ago (had taken 210 pills in less then 2 hours) i had a pretty huge chance of developing drug induced hep as well

    could it be the drugs you used were cut with paracetamol? paracetamol really tops the list of drug induced hep...

    why have they prescribed you interferon? you can get Hep from viruses, but you have the drug induced form... so an anti-viral drug isn't going to stop Hep not caused by the virus, right?

    the other therapy sounds promising, please stay strong :hug:
     
  8. me myself and i

    me myself and i Account Closed

    Tell you what Wayne, i know you can do this, you have beaten smack and crack and have turned so many pages, you can turn this one. Gear is the dirtiest and hardest clinger. No one said it was easy, British people have this shitty habit of kicking you right in the face, i wish you well.
     
  9. Kaos General

    Kaos General Well-Known Member

    Hepatitis C is an RNA virus. RNA viruses mutate much more than DNA viruses. This ability to change makes it harder for the bodys immune system to locate and destroy them. In hepatitis C there are 7 major variations of the virus, known as genotypes and labelled 1 to 7. Different genotypes predominate in different parts of the world. One genotype cannot change into another but it is possible, although rare, to be infected with more than one genotype at the same time.

    Taken from here:

    http://www.hepctrust.org.uk/hepatitis-c

    I shared needles with someone who had Hep C and HIV so i was lucky not to get both. Hell ive had drugs cut with violin cleaner, chalk, rohypnol etc. so paracetemol would be common. Your talking about a minor inflammation of the liver caused by the livers inability to break down the huge quantities of paracetemol which is just hepatitis and i feel for you because thats basically what i have to deal with on a daily basis.

    Thanks, i kinda proved a lot of people wrong because i walked out of rehab after 6 weeks becaise i refused to listen to all the crap they was peddling and they told me as i walked out that i had no chance of staying clean without them. Out of all the people who was at that rehab with me im the only person who walked out and im the only person who has stayed clean, without the use of NA or CA. Mind you i was the only person who wasnt there on a court order, i was their voluntary, same as detox as well and methadone.
     
  10. kobie76

    kobie76 Well-Known Member

    I really feel for you mate, but after beating heroin & crack you can do anything.
     
  11. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    hey Wayne you have done really well to have gone through all that you have and come this far...and to stay off the drugs is amazing.
    I'm glad you've decided to give the treatment a go...the odds are pretty good really even though the treatment suks!
    my bets are on you winning this fight..stay strong ok :hugtackles: