Here I sit. Somewhere between categories. Somewhere between the decision. Live or die? Start to cut or break bones? I can't do this. "this" would be deal with shit any more. Therapist cancelled on me today. Saw my Rx person. Begged to have my meds increased. At least she agreed with that. This has been a constant struggle for months now. My emotions are all effed from my meds. If I don't take them then I'm effed for sure. Had no intention of livng to 30. now 44. It's not an age thing - don't give a shit about that. Not this again................hell, it never left. I don't feel safe at all. And nobody's worried about it.