Decisions

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Prof.Bruttenholm, Dec 13, 2010.

  1. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    I've decided to kill myself.

    I could explain but there is no point, nothing I do will matter and nothing anyone says will matter.

    I am not sure when I will kill myself, probably soon, but nothing will stop me.
    I just can't stand it anymore.
     
  2. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    How about you explain to us why you want to do it?

    Most of us here also know that we'll probly end up doing ourselves in, one day. We just aren't sure when.
     
  3. Tiredofitall

    Tiredofitall Active Member

    We're not finished with our discussion, Professor. If you would, please indulge me a bit longer.
     
  4. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    No.

    No matter what I say, no one will fully understand.
     
  5. nolonger

    nolonger Well-Known Member

    Why not try? Chances are no one would understand my situation. But in the end I wouldn't expect them to and I don't really want them to anyway(that's another story, blah blah blah).

    Come on, just try :)
     
  6. NoMoneyToPlease

    NoMoneyToPlease Banned Member

    Why don't you give tiredofitall a chance to understand?
    You might as well.
     
  7. Prof.Bruttenholm

    Prof.Bruttenholm Well-Known Member

    I don't have much of any chance at a good career in my field.
    I wont get a degree of any value if I end up at a state school not specializing in my field.
    I've never accomplished anything.
    I have nothing that stands out about me.
    I am even behind in my field compared to others.
    I was never really pushed into anything and didn't get serious about what I love until later.
    It's too late.
    People try to tell me I have my entire life to achieve my dream but that's not true, I am not willing to put my dream on hold and I am not going to work my horrible, crappy job until I am 40 just to get a chance to work in my field.
    But even all of this isn't enough for you to understand.
     
  8. Tiredofitall

    Tiredofitall Active Member

    1. That takes time and persistence.
    2. I didn't even go to college. Thought I didn't need it.
    3. Me either. There are no guarantees that we will.
    4. Me either. I'm pretty middle of the road. I blend in and disappear.
    5. Me too. Lots of people do what I do better. But I do pretty good.
    6. Same here. I found my career after 40. I just sort of drifted.
    7. It's not too late until you believe it. Your dream is worth the wait.
    8. But you DO have your entire life. And it's worth the wait, I assure you. I'm in a better place than I've ever been. I still base my identity too much on what I do instead of who I am, same as most men. But I understand that it's part of my own coping mechanism.

    Hang in there Professor, and I think you'll find there are little jewels in life you come across that makes it worth the trouble. And, it IS a lot of trouble. Just part of the price for living, I guess.