I a extremely fucking hard time getting through the end and beging of each month.mainly because i am being forced to go into another damn month of forced time.forced time upon me.the past few months i have just given up the small bit i of control i had.and lost it.went into uncontrolable rage!!!!and i end up being strapped down to a back board.touched.grabbed!!head strapped down.mouth covered.because i will try to do anything i can to hurt tear draw blood from there devil bodies.then be put in a ambulance and injected with tricking poisons!!!! I need to make the decision if i should just take some of the tricking drug poisons now.which barely do anything and make me feel alot worse.also it is just a bunch of lies when i take them.but everything part of me the person trapped inside this body screams to not let those drugs get anywhere near me especially inside of this blood system i cannot drain.i have to make this decision very soon.by tomorrow.if someone could just reply.i do not want any fucking help from anyone!!!!!!i just need to talk things through.this is just a miniscuell of all i have to say on this.but this is all i can handle typing.and i do not want to be talking about this or anything to anyone but i must right now!!