I've been sleeping almost all day every day this week. I had a few older bottles of pills stashed in my nightstand for when I'm ready for the end. I put 2 of them on top of my nightstand next to my husband's glasses knowing he'd be looking for them. He just picked them up. Did he not notice them or does he not care? Now what? He has asked me earlier if he should take me to the hospital. What am I going to say--"Yes"? No--so he takes no initiative about anything. What am I supposed to think about all thia? He wants me dead? Maybe in his heart of hearts he does. Bipolar has killed hundreds of thousands of marriages. Why should mine be different? Life just isn't worth it then. I guess that's it then. I just will have to let my rage loose so I can gather up my nerve. There's nothing left--life is shit.