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Deeply Depressed. Need Help. Nervous About Seeing Professional

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Zhora, Jan 5, 2012.

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  1. Zhora

    Zhora New Member

    I'm going through a very severe depression. Severe enough to cause loss of appetite for two days straight. Triggered by family problems. I think I need to go to a professional for help because my thoughts are all over the place. The reason I haven't gone yet is because I've had severe depression before; I was completely dysfunctional then, and I'm not this time around. So even though I desperately want help, I some part of my brain is telling me to wait because it hasn't gotten bad enough yet. Also, I'm part of a very religious family. They believe depression is a choice. So I have some guilt because even though I don't share their beliefs, their beliefs are in my head and kind of "haunt" me, for lack of a better word.

    Every day when I wake up, I disappointed because when I go to sleep, I'm hoping I won't wake up. I have lots of shame. I am very tired. Any time there is a crisis in my life, it's like my brain snaps.

    I have enough energy right now to go to a mental health clinic that is walking distance from where I live, but I'm afraid to tell anyone that I have unhealthy thoughts. i don't want to be locked away against my will. That isn't to say that I don't want to go into an inpatient program. I just don't want to be forced.

    Nice to know someone is reading this. Maybe someone who can relate and who understands. I don't talk to my family about this anymore because I feel like a burden and also because I think they think I use depression as a cop out.
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I agree with you hun while you have the strength go talk to someone Let them know you want to volunteerly go in for help okay and that you do not want to be forced Let them know you are reaching out now because you have the strength to do so later on you may not hugs
  3. Speedy

    Speedy Staff Alumni

    Dear Zhora,

    I second what total_eclipse said.....I think you can possibly voluntarily admit yourself to a psychiatric hospital.....In the USA you can definitely do so, but I am not sure where you are from. From my understanding where I live, before admission a professional often evaluates you to determine whether hospitalization might be helpful or necessary. What worries me is....I know how bad depression can get, and from your introductory post I get the sense that telling people what you're feeling in order to get the support available is something you should consider soon, if not now. Please take care, and I am glad to have you in our community. :hug:

  4. dragonfly70

    dragonfly70 Well-Known Member

    Now is the time to go in for treatment, while you are still able to do so of your free will. You are experiencing appetite disturbances and are suicidal. That's severe enough to be hospitalized. Even if you are not actively planning to end your life, you are wishing for it. Those are passive suicidal thoughts. It's not a long way from the thoughts becoming active and you being in real danger.

    Your family needs to be educated about depression. I'm not sure how old you are or how involved your family is in your day to day life, but while you're in the hospital, you can have family meetings where your treatment providers can help your family understand that you are not choosing to feel this way. That is part of the hospital's job. To educate people and to try to help you build a healthy support system for when you are discharged. It may be that your family is not a good presence in your life right now. Those issues can be worked out in the safe environment of the hospital.

    Please. Walk to the clinic and tell them you want help. Now.
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