Definately alone

Now, before I go on....



It's being a long time since I was really suicidal. I really love living, and breathing, and everything else.

But I am so alone. Disconnected from other people. Stuck in a horrible rut.

I know, other people have it worse. But I'm just so alone. Even when there's people around me....

Does that make sense? And I've being single for three and a half years. I'm not a supermodel, but I don't think I'm that hideous either. I read an article last night saying that only fault I'm single is mine alone.....what could I do differently? I feel like the least desirable person in the world....I wish there was someone who would make me feel like a woman again, desirable, beautiful, girls, you know what I mean...when you have that sort of man....

I really miss that. I just feel so dead right now....like a zombie....I don't get any attention, any affection, nothing...

And I don't know how to change it. Maybe I'm just not a desirable girl that someone would take on dates, give flowers to, sweet talk....

 

I'm really sorry you are feeling so alone. And it does make sense that you feel alone even when people are around, i feel like that too at times. :hug:

Dating isn't everything hun, but I understand the desire to have someone make you feel special.

Do you think that maybe you could call some friends and ask to get together for a night out or something? Could be fun and help you not feel so alone

If you need to talk one on one feel free to PM me anytime xxx

 

I don't have nights out, I'm a mum.

I socialise exclusively with mums at schools and that's half my friend base. The others are from work and mine is pretty much an exclusively female dominated industry. I just hang with women, all the fucking time. I should just go lesbian or something...

Nah, seriously, I like men, but I never have time off. Just clean this fucking house. And I love this house, don't get me wrong.

I just want to be a pretty woman, not a house cleaning slave.

 

When you get self degrading thoughts of being hopeless, thinking you are unattractive or downright negative about any aspect of your life, it does help to think about just what you think are some of your flaws or 'unappealing' aspects to your personality and focus on working on one of them at a time to try and change that around, while remembering that what could be try in your mind's eye is not necessarily true to someone else (which gives you something positive to focus on without dragging yourself down through the mud while you do it).

If you feel you're not as beautiful as other girls (either physical fitness, appearance whatever) then splash on a hit of make up, change your hair style, hit the gyms.
If you spend most of your time inside, then make a habit of getting out more and socialising, even if you don't particularly feel in the mood.
If you find that you are not enjoying the single life, then take the initiative instead of waiting for things to happen to you.

Nothing ever comes from dwelling on things, but only on the actions you take to remedy a situation to your advantage.

 

So i had this long post typed out and it earased bleh

Anyways, being a mom would take up a lot of your time :hug: But the women you consider friends, the moms from school? Do you think you could take a night and go out on the town with them? You never know, you could meet someone special! Find the kids a babysitter and go out! You deserve it.

And if you want to go lesbian that's cool too

 

Sorry that's totally not helpful, you didn't really 'get' my situation did you?

I didn't think I wasn't beautiful or not going outside the house or whatever, and where exactly did I say I'm not enjoying the single life? That's putting words into my mouth.

I don't feel beautiful because all I do is work, cook, clean, look after kids. I know I'm fine looking. I suppose you're not a girl, maybe that's why you don't 'get it'. And I do get out of the house, a lot, every day, with the kids. I'm about to go to a festival and I'm sure that'll make me feel better. But it won't solve anything. Just a momentary elixir, like getting drunk or having a nap would do.

And yeah, I hate not having attention, sex, a night out, whatever. Sorry, it just gets up my goat when people don't read what I am saying and then come out and say really simple stuff that has nothing to do with my life. Now, for the positive post.

Thanks SH that really helped, just having somebody that reads what I wrote and understands. And I know the feeling about long posts, grr! That's happened to me before too.

Yeah, all the mums at school are old. Like, they are nice but they are old enough to be grandmas. They don't do stuff like going out. They just sit at home with their husbands. Or do couple stuff once in a blue moon.

 

You're welcome hun. And yes it totally sucks :laugh: It was so much better than the one that i submitted XD

And ugh that sucks What about other people? Or maybe taking the kids to the park? Idk how old they are so maybe the park isn't a good idea? I just think that if you get out more you will have a better chance of connecting with a man, and maybe if you involve your children you will meet someone that has kids or wants kids, which would be better right?

 

Thanks . Getting out of the house today helped. I've had a few quiet weekeds, so the fact that it's picking up slightly is making me happier.

I do still feel a bit unwanted...was talking to this cute English boy here on a working visa at the kids' fair, that was nice. Trying to remember my flirting skills which I have all but forgotten.... One of the few times I get to talk to somebody cute.

 

Yay! I'm glad you could get out of the house!

And just be yourself with him if you see him again hun. He'll love you! :hug: