Define Crisis

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by daisyhope, Nov 29, 2011.

  1. daisyhope

    daisyhope Active Member

    like really?

    I dont know if this counts as a crisis at all. I guess in a way it does and this is probably more of a ramble cos friends are talking to me and im all confused and stuff.

    First im currently in hospital from a serious attempt via OD last Tuesday, im under the mental health act and actually cant leave unless its with a nurse or specific friend.

    Anyway my problem is that despite having a few up moments i still desperately want to OD again, simply to die. Ive been honest with the doctors so far but im beginning to think that was stupid because it has jsut keep me here longer. I hate lying and im pretty sure that i will go hone and od either way but i no longer want to be honest with doctors as i jsut want out of here. Ive been sitting in my room mostly, thinking about the various ways i can hurt myself while in here without anyone knowing and ive come up with a few ideas and tried them out, and since Friday ive not eaten and the know i have an ED but its not really your normal ED. Its never been to lose weight or to be thin it simply been a way to cope, to stay in control and now its just another way to die. They have told me that if my physical health begins to be compromised then they will put a Naso-gastric tube (feeding tube) in me so then i have to eat. Thing is i know i will take it out or throw up the food so yeah i guess im pretty stuck. :sigh:
     
  2. Bullzye

    Bullzye Active Member

    i can relate to what you say so much, its like reading my thoughts.
    i think its best to be honest. if you go home and od again, surely they are going to hospitalize you again??? if you want help, take this opportunity to seek it, and to help yourself to stop feeling like this. why should you live your life like this. ?
    PM if you want to chat.
    x