Define "Loser"

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Esmeralda, Jul 12, 2008.

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  1. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    People on this site keep saying things like, "I'm a loser" and insist that they will always be losers. Well, when people deign to label themselves as such (whether they are just using a word that has been applied to them or whether that is a self-imposed perception), aren't they essentially feeding into the whole system of classifying people into a single word or idea?

    In other words, when someone define you as a "loser", you define them as an "asshole" and the cycle perpetuates.

    So my question is this: What defines someone as being a "loser" and what defines someone as a "winner"? And of course, what makes the "losers" any different from the "winners" when they are just as guilty as labelling people themselves based solely upon what they see of that person?
     
  2. crying_wolf

    crying_wolf Active Member

    im the definition of loser :blink:

    loser = me
     
  3. Esmeralda

    Esmeralda Well-Known Member

    Nope. That is a cop-out. Define it. What makes you a loser that the vast majority of society does not share with you?

    Personal feelings aside, what is the definition of "loser"?
     
  4. Blueberry

    Blueberry Active Member

    A loser -- someone who gives up.

    As long as you're trying, you're good to go.
     
  5. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    Wow, I like the questions you've asked, and for those of us/people here, who in general feel bad about ourselves and expect ourselves to be so much better, when if you look at it, you wouldn't be so critical with others in pain, and so much else to this. I am interested to see what replies come in on this subject and loaded questions. :eek:hmy:
     
  6. Attack19

    Attack19 Member

    Why is this in the suicide forum? I think everyone has there own definitions of what a loser is why don't you start the thread and tell us what YOU think losers are..
     
  7. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    1) People apply labels to other people, are they 'attractive' or 'funny' or 'interesting'. And ok my labels are generally worse than other peoples, but hey ok, I think labelling is wrong so I won't categorise myself as a 'loser' on this account.

    2) But if labelling is so wrong then what about virtues? Should I not ask myself "Do I have wisdom, empathy, courage or determination". And I basically don't have these qualities - should I just shrug and say "Well virtues don't really matter, it's just labelling myself?"

    3) Even if I try and discard all thoughts about myself, on a practical level I'm just rubbish at everything. Whether it's cooking a meal, doing DIY, following a map or simply talking to people, the result is usually just an embarassment. What most people can do, I can't.

    So let's say you wanted to have children, you'd want their father to have certain qualities, to be reliable, to be loving etc. I simply have no good qualities and that I think qualifies me as a 'loser'.
     
  8. Reki

    Reki Well-Known Member

    A loser, in my opinion, is someone who has given up before the task even begins to avoid the difficulties they will face when they attempt it. A winner is just the opposite, not to be confused with the assholes, the ones that succeed and label the ones that fail. It's up to you whether you're a loser or not. If you call yourself a loser then you don't really have much choice but to be one because no one's opinion of you can stand up to yours.
     
  9. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    Everyone has their own definition of what a "loser" is. It's down to a person's own perception.
     
  10. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    If you had a football match and one team scored 3 goals and another team 1 goal, you wouldn't say "winners and losers are just down to your own perception". One team was more successful than the other. Now you can succeed in many ways, financially, spiritually, socially etc, and to different degrees, or you can just fail at everything.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2008
  11. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    That is still likely a matter of perception. You can say that in this case the team that scored 3 goals won because of the rules that are there. But what if in another case the rules to win are different. Besides everyone has their own terms of definition for success.
     
  12. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    True, I think you have two types of scenario though.

    1) You may have a person who says "I'm no good", and other people will say "no you're kind, understanding" etc.
    2) You may have another person who says "I'm no good" and other people will go "erm... well... hey so what?"

    Both people have the same perception, but there's a big difference between them. (I should also add that if situation (2) happens, it's often because people don't really know you that well, and once they do you may find yourself in situation (1)... or you may not.)

    Anyway I have perceptions about myself, I may think I'm wise but if I'm in a situation where wisdom is required then I cannot help, I may think I'm caring, but when people are suffering I don't know how to react, I may think I'm good at DIY but if I put up a shelf it falls down. All my perceptions about myself are tested in life and I either pass or fail those tests. If I was a 'winner' I'd pass them, but I don't - therefore my perceptions of being a 'loser' are validated by real life experiences.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2008
  13. Anime-Zodiac

    Anime-Zodiac Well-Known Member

    I agree, I guess you could say it's also down to the situation and circumstances we found ourselves in. Defining something and perception can be a complicated thing.
     
  14. fromthatshow

    fromthatshow Staff Alumni

    A winner in denial.
     
  15. jonstark

    jonstark Well-Known Member

    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 12, 2008
  16. sakuragirl

    sakuragirl Well-Known Member

    Dictionary definition
    a. One that fails to win: the losers of the game.
    b. One who takes loss in a specified way: a graceful loser; a poor loser.
    2.
    a. One that fails consistently, especially a person with bad luck or poor skills: "losers at home seeking wealth and glory in undeveloped countries" Arthur M. Schlesinger, Jr.
    b. One that is bad in quality: That book is a real loser.

    to sum up a loser is one that is not as good as others. From Talladega nights If you're not first, you're last.
     
  17. Darken

    Darken Well-Known Member

    Depends how the person uses the word maybe. I don't see what you're trying to point out though? Calling any one any thing, even compliments, you could say is the same thing putting people into classes. When you say some one is beautiful even you're putting people into classes. It is wrong to with the negative yes imo, because of my morals and spiritual beliefs especially. Using on your self though imo means you failed to meet too many of your own goals, you in a way you lost, you are a loser. Of course we all lose in some way or another thats why I think we shouldn't use this word as an insult or to be arrogant. (or any word really i guess)

    A winner would be some one who successfully achieved many of their own goals. Difference is one person succesfully achieved what they wanted(or at least enough to be happy about their progress) and one person didn't.

    If using labels is bad fine. I'll just say I failed to meet most of my goals in life and I've done to much damage to repair it all. So there is no way I can be as happy with what few things I have done successfully (errrrm nothing) as some one who did achieve most of their goals or enough to at least be happy with how much progress they have made.

    IF some one is a forty year old virgin with no job but they were still happy with their self I wouldn't say they were a loser. All that matters is if you're happy that is what is important. Not becoming rich or succesfull or fucking some body/s. Even the most succesfull people have some one who has done better. It is a endless cycle if you are an elitist, there will always be some one more elite. So if you treat people like crap cause you think you are better the same can happen to you, it's best just for every one to not be that way. So really it's foolish to be arrogant.
     
  18. mortdesinos

    mortdesinos Well-Known Member

    Yes.. Scoring over 250 on Helicopter is good for me, but scoring 2,500 is subpar for MysticEyes.
     
  19. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    I refer to myself as a loser because I am uneducated(well not entirely as I do educate myself lol), but yeah, uneducated, have no friends, not being able to do *simple* every day tasks like most people can and well since SF has become my entire life..yea I am a loser.

    A winner is what I would call a successful person, educated, good career, boyfriend/husband, and being happy with a bright future.
     
  20. Ziggy

    Ziggy Antiquitie's Friend

    Maybe I need a boyfriend? :laugh: But the serious point is this...

    1) What are your goals? 2) How important are they? 3) What is the likelihood of you acheiving them? 4) How much effort are they worth? Let's say my answers are as follows: 1) Finding a partner, 2) Very important, 3) Not acheivable, 4) Not worth trying - so that's automatically going to make me a loser.

    but let's rephrase the sequence:
    3) What are you able to achieve? 1) Is it a worthwhile goal? 2) How important is it? 4) How much effort is worth putting into it?

    3) I could get better at playing a musical instrument by practicing, I could become more educated by reading a lot, Now I may be rubbish at all of these things, but I could improve so are they worthwhile goals? I guess I could say "Well nothing is important", "Nothing is worth the effort", but then I'm not a loser because I failed my goals, I simply didn't have these as goals.

    What seems to matter most is that the goals I want to achieve are different from the goals I can achieve, but does that make me a loser? One day I may say I wanted to be married but ended up happy single, I wanted to be a good chef but it turned out that I'm a really good gardener. I guess we all have some potential, it may not be a lot, or it may not be in the areas that we want it to be, but by having that potential are we really losers?
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jul 13, 2008
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