It's been a while since I've posted here, but I'm feeling a bit on the discouraged side this evening borderline hopeless. It's a long story, and I'm not sure that most would believe it anyways. Suffice it to say I was a second victim in a guys scheme, and I'm the one paying for it. I'm sure that sounds unbelievable. Well, to be honest it feels that way too. I'm paying legally for it as well. This means I can't get a job, because no one wants to hire anyone on probation. I'm discouraged because I don't know how not to screw my life up. Even innocently and naivly I have screwed it up. I'm writing my story atm, and have been hammered with the thought that when I'm done dealing with what I must atm I'm disappearing. It seems only fitting for a screw up like myself. It's funny though, cause there's a part of me that would like to move on and try and do better for myself, but the reality is no one is interested in hiring a screw up like myself, and honestly I can't say that I blame them. I know I meant well in this legal situation. I sincerely had no idea what the guys true intentions were. If I admit to that then it sounds like I'm not taking responsibility for my actions, and yet I've never denied what I did. I'm simply an idiot who deserves nothing less than to isolate, and I do mean totally and completely isolate. In my heart I already know I can't prove my side, and it's not like anyone wants to believe it anyways. Sorry, done ranting.