over the last month i started a new med and have been feeling almost normal and side effect free, my mind was telling me every thing is great now but i did not realize untill today that i was spiraling out of control. today I woke up and realized that nothing had changed, i failed to realize that i have been actively suicidal for the last month and was deluded into thinking other wise, every day i was lost in thought for hours a day planning, and have been prepairing, only today did i realize why I was doing it. such a scary feeling... i have lost touch with reality and failed to realize that i was about to make a big mistake. i had every thing layed out ready to go when i saw that it hit me like a ton of bricks, now i am lost. i dont know what to do, every thing is ready and all i have to do is start, then there will be no turning back, it all seems to easy, oh well im rambeling. any one have a similar experence? what happned?