Demons are getting harder to control

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by UnusualFrosch, Sep 10, 2015.

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  1. UnusualFrosch

    UnusualFrosch Member

    I'm new to this site and I'm hoping it helps before it gets too much.


    I feel no emotions or feelings so if someone was to leave my life I unfortunately wouldn't notice, because everyone leaves sooner or later.


    I cry mostly everyday and I feel like it could be the end
     
  2. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there and welcome. I'm really sorry for what you are going through but you have joined a great supportive community here.

    Want to talk about how you came to this stage in your life?
     
  3. UnusualFrosch

    UnusualFrosch Member

    That all depends how long you have to hear about it all because there is a lot
     
  4. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    We have lots and lots of time....
     
  5. UnusualFrosch

    UnusualFrosch Member

    Well I've had depression for years but it started getting worse after my ex because I spent all that relationship getting blamed for things I didn't do and he blamed my depression for every little thing :(
     
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Sounds like a good move to make them your ex - if they were not supporting you and were causing you pain and more issues I am glad you have shed that toxic relationship.
     
  7. UnusualFrosch

    UnusualFrosch Member

    But that was the last time I saw of him, he began turning everyone against me causing me to lose myself as a person to stop the pain he caused along with writing bad things about me across his Twitter
     
  8. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Good thing about social media is it only gets attention for a very short time and then all have moved on and all know how ridiculous social media drama is and that it is usually something between one sided and made up. You cant control what other people say or do, but you can control how you react to it and make choices that will improve the situation instead of living in it and letting it define you.
     
  9. UnusualFrosch

    UnusualFrosch Member

    I guess so but it was just horrible hearing him say those things about me because I took so much rubbish from him then continued to love him...
    My trust issues went to the point where I wouldn't trust anyone that got close to me, let alone came near me :(
     
  10. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    You just need to learn that mistrust belongs to him alone and he is the one that hurt you, not everybody else. Easier said than done by far, but as soon as you qyit grieving losing somebody that hurt you an was bad for you and se it as the best thing that could have ever happened to you - the sooner things will improve in all other areas and other people. So long as you are still focused on him and the past trying ot love and live in the present is going ot be hard. Move on- not because it was not important time of your life- but because your future is so much more important. The only person that can make the past important to you is you and control your actions is you. If you can't move on alone then get help to move on so that you can enjoy today and tomorrow and not dwell in depression from what i sno longer here to be fixed or changed anyway so impossible to alter....
     
  11. UnusualFrosch

    UnusualFrosch Member

    But that's not the be of it all... It got worst after I managed to get over him fully making me see it brighter however I lost a lot of people after that especially the ones I helped with their own problems. They didn't return the favour when I needed them :(

    I prefer helping instead of getting helped making it makes me long needy and unfortunately pathetic.


    Thoughts got darker from everything I was dealing with to how I am feeling now and I want to just disappear to make myself better.

    My 'friend' on the middle of the bus began to get irritated because I don't open up anymore as it always gets turned against me so his words exactly was 'why don't you just end it all so you'll find your real friends'
     
  12. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    Not a friend if said seriously and not well chosen words even if trying to make a point .... I am sorry you are having to deal with this- but really sometimes the best way to deal with these sort of issues is to stop dealing with them and just be yourself and comfortable with how you are interacting with people. If had worked before the issues came up will work again (( hugs))
     
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