Discussion in 'Rape and Abuse' started by RightOverThisMess, Apr 12, 2010.

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  1. Hi,

    I just need to get this out because I'm really confused by it. I was raped when I was 17 years old. However, I was unconscious and can't recall a second of it. (A friend of mine thankfully walked in on it and stopped it.) Then I was raped again when I was 24. I don't blame myself for the rape because I was drunk, but I do know it would NOT have happened had I been sober.

    The reason I'm confused is because I sincerely don't feel affected by either rape. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD and I can't wrap my head around why. I have just always told myself that the rapes weren't a big deal. I've been through worse. What's crazy is that I volunteered for a sexual violence prevention program. I see and understand what people go through when they are violated...but I minimize it when it involves my own history.
  2. LotusFlower

    LotusFlower Antiquities Friend

    I understand what you are talking about to a t. I always try to tell myself the my childhood sexual abuse was no big deal. It is a way of coping with it. PTSD is a very diffuclt thing to deal with. It is hard to wrap your head around.
    I worked for 2 years for a sexual assualt centre as an office assitant. Until I just couldn't bring myself to see it day in and day out all the time. I wish I had better advice for you. It is very common to feel the way you do. You are not alone.
  3. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I think one minimizes their own assaults because we feel partially to blame maybe we don't want to accept what has happened is real or deal with it as something major. It is our way of protection ourselves our minds. If we make ourselves believe it was nothing then it will go away. But it doesn't go away later on it come back and hurts us when we think it has gone. I hope you do go and get help because your therapist will help you see it was something horrible that happened and it shouldn't of You are important so don't minimize your assault okay you are too important to do that.
  4. Thank you, Lotus and violet. :biggrin:
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