Hi, I just need to get this out because I'm really confused by it. I was raped when I was 17 years old. However, I was unconscious and can't recall a second of it. (A friend of mine thankfully walked in on it and stopped it.) Then I was raped again when I was 24. I don't blame myself for the rape because I was drunk, but I do know it would NOT have happened had I been sober. The reason I'm confused is because I sincerely don't feel affected by either rape. My therapist diagnosed me with PTSD and I can't wrap my head around why. I have just always told myself that the rapes weren't a big deal. I've been through worse. What's crazy is that I volunteered for a sexual violence prevention program. I see and understand what people go through when they are violated...but I minimize it when it involves my own history.