I'm so sick of depression. Yes, it eventually gets better, but it always comes back. I feel like I'm merely waiting for the next episode to begin even when I'm not depressed. Two days ago, I started making a suicide plan. I have a plan in place, but no immediate plan to use it yet. I'm still deciding. I have kids that I don't want to be scarred for life, but at the same time, I think they're better off without a mom who can't keep her shit together. My illness has only put my family in the poor house. I just want it to end.