Hi everyone, first time on anything like this. I am a single parent who works full time and I am struggling with life in general. Looking back I realise that o have struggled my whole life and have never ever felt fully happy the way other people do. I contemplate suicide very often but a huge part of me does not want to die yet and I have dreams of travelling and living life the fullest but I just don't know how. I have a terrible sick record at work because some days I just can't face people. I am a bad mother and a terrible friend as I feel in being selfish so wrapped up in my own head.