Well, I'm new on this site and I'm really not quite sure how to begin. For most of my life I've always felt like an outsider, even amongst my own friends and family. I was kind of a loner as a kid. Not because I couldn't make friends or talk to people, but because even back then it felt like anyone who showed me attention or affection was only doing so because they felt bad for me. It got really bad when I was about 13 or 14 years old and started to figure out what I was feeling. I read online about mental disorders and depression and the more I related to what I read, the crazier I felt. And since then it's been pretty much a constant struggle to be happy and stay positive.
The last year or so has been really good for me. I honestly felt like things were looking up, like I was really making progress. But recently I've gotten more and more down about myself. I can't eat, or sleep, or do anything at all. Everything seems dull and pointless. It's a chore to get out of bed and I never want to talk to anyone, even people I care about. And its sick because I don't even have a legitimate reason to feel the way I do. I have an incredible family, a couple good friends, school has always been manageable, and I cant even say that I think I'm unattractive. So I cant understand why I feel so sad all of the time. I feel worthless, and selfish, and I feel like there isn't really anyone to talk to about it. I've tried to bring it up before, but after getting told 500+ times that "its just been a bad day" or "its something you'll get over" or "you're just being emotional," it starts to seem like there's no one that understands.
I don't know what I'm expecting to find from joining this site, but at this point I just don't know what else to do. Advice/encouragement would be greatly appreciated.
The last year or so has been really good for me. I honestly felt like things were looking up, like I was really making progress. But recently I've gotten more and more down about myself. I can't eat, or sleep, or do anything at all. Everything seems dull and pointless. It's a chore to get out of bed and I never want to talk to anyone, even people I care about. And its sick because I don't even have a legitimate reason to feel the way I do. I have an incredible family, a couple good friends, school has always been manageable, and I cant even say that I think I'm unattractive. So I cant understand why I feel so sad all of the time. I feel worthless, and selfish, and I feel like there isn't really anyone to talk to about it. I've tried to bring it up before, but after getting told 500+ times that "its just been a bad day" or "its something you'll get over" or "you're just being emotional," it starts to seem like there's no one that understands.
I don't know what I'm expecting to find from joining this site, but at this point I just don't know what else to do. Advice/encouragement would be greatly appreciated.