depressed but excited

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Last night I was unsuccessful but came close. It was a silly rush job. I didn't want it to look like an attempt so I must not have taking enough. I woke up this morning disappointed but excited because I finally have the courage do what the world has been wanting. No more hateful stares, snide comments, and revulsion. No one will have to deal with me again, including me. It's so hard not to share this with people I know. I can't for the obvious interventions. But here I can share. Thank you for reading.
That is indeed concerning.
I know and can relate a lot to how you feel. Perhaps you feel more powerful, and in control, that is how I felt.
But is anything worth ending your life over?
I ask myself similar questions all the time. When I answer positively, I know that I am in trouble.
I really hope you can keep safe.
Talk a lot on here, many people youll find have similar feelings, situations, etc.
Add to that the fact that the concern of someone of taking action and trying to get you sectioned and what not, it is a useful place to interact and get it out there.
I cant know what your going through, but please stay here with us for a while, perhaps you may things differently.
Stay Strong, Stay Safe.

PS, be careful, I dont know what you took, but some things wont give noticeable effect until long after the damage is done and then it not as painless as you would imagine it. Especially if its over the counter drugs.
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