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Depressed. Confused. Lonely.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by thebaronspell, Nov 12, 2011.

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  1. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    I am so depressed. The one person in the World I'd do anything for and she's probably fast asleep next to her new boyfriend right now and this being despite her saying she wanted me back last night and loves me. Am I just unlucky or a born failure given everything else I've documented on here before I even met her?

    Thing is I'm hurt so much by her yet strangely her confused and untrustworthy self is luring when I look at how dull my life was. She's the only person I could have lost my appetite and neck pills over. My girlfriend before would never have hurt me she worshipped me but I couldn't deal with her ambition for wanting children straight away in my battle with mental health problems that nobody apart from her know about.

    I spent a week without speaking with her and reflecting on being dumped again by her to have an apology made again and now I don't think she will keep to her vow to make it up to me 'big time'

    She knows of my date coming up and is jealous I didn't want no other girl why is life unfair. All the girls I've loved and like appear to be sweet like me then change for no reason :(

    If I have to wake up alone anymore I'd rather be dead. This date is all I have. I have one friend I can trust atm and she's an old girlfriend but moved away :(
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Baron..if you wake up alone, you are in good company...I hope you will see that!
  3. thebaronspell

    thebaronspell Well-Known Member

    Hi. Afraid I can't. The thing is its her birthday on Monday and I had a restaurant reservation, hotel and flowers booked yet despite me being the most compassionate person in her words through a difficult month recently (long story) when all her family were being difficult I miss out on this special occasion so that some jack the lad can have somebody to wake up with. She's trying to sabotage my date, she thinks just because they both share a name (dates name is actually my ex's first name) that I'm on the rebound when I've tried to move on but she messes with my feelings and head and won't let go.
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