Hi. I'm a 24 year old guy from Norway (Europe), suffering from anxiety, more specifically daily panick attacks, agoraphobia, partly social anxiety/phobia, as well as depression. The anxiety has been with me for around two years, the depression even longer. The reason why I signed up here just now is that it was the first time I googled 'suicide'. I've contemplated on it occasionally for about 6 months. Perhaps the reason is that it, at some point, feels comforting knowing that there always is a way out. Not that it's a good way out, but still... I go to group therapy once a week at the university I attend, and I also work twice a week as a fundraiser for a humanitarian organization. The reason why I am mentioning this, is that one of the ways I deal with, (if you can call it that), the depression and anxiety, is by staying home, laying in bed, doing not much of anything, isolating myself from my surroundings. I very rarely go to classes, only the mandatory one, which is once a week. I have a girlfriend, a relatively supportive family and a couple of good friends. I do well at school, despite not reading that much. I guess because I find most of the syllabus interesting, it sticks decently fast. I am telling you this, because what I struggle with the most is the feeling of not being good enough. Now, most people I know have no concept of why I feel this way, seeing as they would deem me a good, intelligent and pretty good-looking guy. And here is one of the key issues I have: There is such a huge difference between the way other people seem to judge me, and the way I judge myself. Much in light of this, it seems difficult for people to grasp why I "of all people" would have such poor self-esteem, and be depressed and anxious. This fact, in turn, means that I don't only feel helpless, but I feel alone. Misunderstood. And lately I have started to lose motivation in terms of things getting better. Also, I started on anti-depressants some 6 weeks ago, but they haven't helped much, despite the psychiatrist doubling the dose two weeks ago. But back to losing motivation: I struggle so hard getting up from bed, eating, leaving the apartment, basically with anything that has anything to do with doing something different than nothing at all. I read way too little, I have completely stopped working out. Also, even being with my girlfriend doesn't help much most of the time, especially in terms of having sex. It often takes a long time to get an erection, and once I do and we have sex, I rarely ejaculate, especially the last 6-8 weeks. She knows I'm struggling a lot and is supportive, but there is only so much (or little) other people around me can do to make me feel better, at least it feels that way too often. And the bad sex-part just adds on to all the other stressful, depressing elements or parts that make my life all too difficult to handle. Some of these aspects brought me here. I really don't know what I'm looking for, I just felt like sharing a very short, perhaps not so well-written story of how my life is like at the moment, and hopefully get some feedback from someone.