Well, i never really talked about this to anyone, but i feel like ending my life. First of all i am 17 years old and i just feel horrible in every way. I lack any confidence, feel that i am ugly, can not even make eye contact anymore with anyone, lonely( have no real friends at all) and I seriously can not take this much longer. First of all, I do not have any confidence , cant even talk properly with anyone anymore, cant look at anyone in the eyes and always look at the floor when walking or talking. While i was in high school many people made fun of how i look and i even once heard girls whispering to each other that i look ugly, which really hurts and it made me lose whatever low self-confidence I had. What makes thing worse is that i wear glasses and braces which do not help me at all, i tried wearing contacts but just can not do it. It really hurts when i used to see most of the people getting invitations to partys and stuff while I never got invited. As for me being lonley , I used to have many friends but later on I had one friend only, who is my best friend and we were like family and have been friends for over 10 years, but recently he never calls me and even when i call him he does not answer and when I checked his facebook profile 6 months after that i found picures of him and his new friends one of them he called his best friend , which really hurt me and was a fatal blow to me. Now all i do is just stay home , never going out. Now that i went to college i thought this could be a new start and I could have a life again , but i continue walking alone, most days i dont even talk to anyone or greet anyone and the opposite is true. It just kills me seeing people having fun together with their friends while i am all alone. I do not even want to go to college anymore, right now i am skipping it a lot and just do not care anymore. I have been thinking about killing myself a lot and just do not want to live anymore as the pain is just too much for me , I even holded a knife once and almost stabbed myself but just could not do it, also lately when i am driving i think about crashing on purpose so that i just end this misery. Even when i talk to someone I just have nothing to say and feel so depressed. I am sorry for writing so much its that i just had to let it out, cause the pain is just too much that i feel that i am dying a slow death.