depressed since age 19. turned 55. No change

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by jonsmith, Mar 27, 2015.

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  1. jonsmith

    jonsmith Well-Known Member

    I'm the limo driver some of you might remember me. just checking in.......turned 55 last week. i worked. no one at my job knew it was my birthday . it passed unnoticed like all the ones before it. on my days off i just stay in and watch TV. All week long i look forward to my days off to get away from the job yet i do nothing. my one guilty pleasure is watching the show "Better Call Saul"

    just like when i was a boy my only escape was watching my fav movies on network TV. I'm middle aged now nothing ever changed. I was and still am the consumate loner.
  2. Koji

    Koji Well-Known Member

    i'm sorry jonsmith. I think i can understand your situation somewhat. My world fell apart 14 years ago and i feel the exact same today as i did that first day.
  3. Standpoints

    Standpoints Member

    I was depressed by the age of 8 and it lasted in its full form until I was about 35 years old. I'm now 37 going on 38 and it's still in partial remission (which feels much better than it sounds). Keep your chin up, change may occur at any time. It happened for me.
  4. Vaughan

    Vaughan Well-Known Member

    Hey Jonsmith - we're similar ages.

    A question. How bad is it being a loner? We all have personality traits, some people are social butterflies, others hide in their shell. I think there is contentment in both.

    Now, I'm married. At the same time, I do demand my own space and time alone. My wife does too. Being alone is good sometimes.

    Do you have a diagnosis of an illness, and are you getting any treatment?
  5. jonsmith

    jonsmith Well-Known Member

    i'm glad some of you have found some relief in your life. no good person should suffer.

    i don't have a specific diagnosis. being alone sometimes is great when you have a partner. however, to be alone night and day through out a lifetime is a lonely hell. ive just never fit in
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