Depressed - Started taking pills

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Nedlog, Jul 19, 2010.

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  1. Nedlog

    Nedlog New Member

    I've been depressed for years, and have been on depression meds, they've gradually been incresed as the years went on.... Just recently... the last month or so.... i've been suicidal... I've never felt like this before... My father is bipolar and i always got angry when he said he wanted to kill himself... but now i find myself in the same situation.

    Problem is... I really REALLY want to kill myself, but do it in a way that will look accidental. if I take my life, I need my family to have some sort of benefit from it, so if I make it look like an accident, they'll get some money out of it.

    My family is ALL sick... all the time.... both my little boys have disabilities, and my wife is sick all the time with various illnesses that we both think are related, but no doctor can ever tie them together. I end up taking care of them 24/7. I work to support my family during the day, and work all night to physically help them. Even with all the work I do, I can't provide enough money to keep us afloat. I've just had enough,

    The other night, I took all my daily pills in the morning(about 10 pills... three blood pressure, depression meds etc....) and I took them again at 5pm, but I also took 5 percasets (sp?) I thought that would do it, but I was just seriously stoned all night.

    Tonight, i took 9 Tylonol 3's, and all i got was a stomach ache.

    i know i'll eventually do it, but it scares me...
     
  2. UnkelHeit

    UnkelHeit Well-Known Member

    I don't really know what to say but that I care. Have you discussed the med problem with your psych? Sometimes the meds need to be increased like they have with you but sometimes they stop working for whatever reason. It sounds like they did work if I'm reading this right. If you responded to one med that means that another one can work. Or you might just need something added to it. I know it's hard to see with all the weight on you and how bad you're feeling but your family would be devastated if anything happened. I hope you can talk to your doctor and find something.
     
  3. paul777

    paul777 Well-Known Member

    What a great person

    Nedlong

    You are truly a great person!

    You work all day and help your family in the evening.

    You must recognise how important you are to your family and love yourself as they surely love you.

    Can you apply for some state benefits to help with costs? It doesn't seem right that you have to pay for everything yourself when you have disabled children.

    How about respite care so you get a break from the pressure?

    Best wishes
     
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