I don't know what to do. The problem is that my mom is being abusive, she won't stop badgering me so much. I cannot defend myself and she criticizes me, in all honesty it's HER that is making me suicidal...and I am pushing to the brink, I have just been acting out the suicide but not going through with it to the end. I tried choking myself for a long time, and then I gave up and stopped and still I felt horrible....I don't know, I just need something to believe in. Some reason to say I had a purpose at all, to say I did remember who I was and the stress is getting to me and all this medication. People online just harass me, I joined a forum and was basically told this bs out of the blue and when I spoke up to defend myself they just flat out banned me. I get sick of this. The internet, the world, everything....nothing is real.