I am new to the forum I joined today. I have been having thoughts of suicide and feeling useless this past year. I have just finished my junior year of college and now starting my year long process (probably more) of finding a job. The problem that I have is that I work part time and go to school. I wish that I had the luxury that some kids had where I could afford not to work and just focus on school but that is just not possible. Anyways since spring 2008 I have gotten one and only one "C" in each semester since including a "C+" in my major Finance :sad:. I feel hopeless because I'm browsing through all of these internships and everyone wants atleast a 3.0/3.2 and right now I am just under a 3.0 without the "C+" added in. Although I know (and most employers) know that academics are not indicator of performance in the real world but that is what they have to go on in the mean time. I am really paranoid abotu finding a job and starting my career and my GPA is really bugging me :sad: Basically I think the root of my problems is how I choose to value myself. I am valuing myself based on achievements instead of how I am as a person and what value I bring to those around me. I am most definetely a loner. My family is not close. We are 6 people (two parents 3 siblings) who are blood related living under teh same roof. And because of this I do not turn to any of them to talk about things. I am the type of person to keep things bottled up but I am very good at controlling my emotions so my top never blows off. I am somewhat moody but not to the point where it would set of any alarms. I really fee like this is a phase that I am going trhough. A natural progression through in life where people are learning about themselves. I feel like one day I will look at this period of my life and laugh and or wonder what I was thinking. But right now in this day and time I feel like my life is over if I dont achieve these great things, get this great job, or attain material wealth. The only thing keeping me going is my parents. I do not want them to go throughthe pain of burying their child. Since I do not have any children I do not think that it would be selfish of me to do so because no one is dependent on me.