depressed

[rachypooh]

i have been depressed for so long i dont remember when i was last 'normal' or happy. i have been on so many different meds for it and then they take me off them cold turkey because i get pregnant, which messes my system up even more which is just plain shitty.
the one thing that has been getting me out of the depression is the dissociating but then im not handling that very well either.
last time i let the depression suck me in i shut off from the world and wasnt functioning very well at all, got myself in debt, pushed all friends and family away, stopped eating, stopped sleeping, stopped cleaning. ended up digging myself into one dark hole that i couldnt get out of by myself, im still struggling to keep my head above everything now

 

[gentlelady]

just keep fighting and keep your head up. Depression is such an uncaring thing. Trying to cope without meds makes it even worse on you. Do what you can to get back on track. Have faith in you and what you can do. I know it is much easier for me to say this that it will be for you to do. :hug:

 

[rachypooh]

The depression is sucking me in big time, I thought I was doing so much better but it isnt the case. I dont know how to handle this anymore. I had an assessment yesterday and they arent putting me on meds again. So I have to deal with it all myself, no meds, no counselling, no psych. It is so hard, I try to talk it all out but most of my friends have given up on me now because I am so unpredicatble or because I push them too far away from me to get them back. I am stuffing everything up big time and I am at the end of my rope, I have no idea what to do now that I am this far in. What to do ??????? I can try and write it out but that seems to get me in a bit of trouble too. I need help and have no idea where to get it from anymore. Honestly I'm scared of getting as bad as I did last time and that meant alot of trips to hospital whether I wanted to go or not. Anyways thats it from me for now, I know it doesn't make much sense to anyone.

 

[LtRoarke]

It does make sense. Many of us here have had similiar thoughts, feelings, and experiences-myself included. Like gentle said...just keep fighting, you will succeed. Stay confident-as hard as it is to do. I wish you the best of luck

 

[p3cky]

sometimes the only way i can feel better is to cut my self, like the good old blade is my new friend i cant seem to stop can anyone help me?