Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by theripped, Dec 24, 2010.

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  1. theripped

    theripped Member

    Hey, this is my first time posting here...

    Today, i almost jumped off my 25th floor apartment.
    Im 20 yrs old, really lost and depressed.. For many years ive been trying to stay strong. But i dont think ican any longer...
    This problem has been hitting me so hard over the years, and its been getting worse... i cant even function properly anymore, i cant think, i cant remember things,i have really bad perspiration break downs everytime i go out. i cant talk to anyone properly, without being paranoid about how i look, how i present myself, always ending up looking like an idiot.. i can no longer sleep properly, i cant push myself to go out any longer.. ive drifted so far away frm friends, they think im a freak.. Im a disgrace and embarassment to my parents, i used to so drugs at times to numb the pain. i feel so lost and alone.

    Ive been trying so hard... its been so retarded for so many years. i cant be like this forever, i want to change. but it seems impossible... so many things ive tried, keeping diaries, going out to practice communicating with people, trying to live a healthier lifestyle... nothing seems to work. .. i just want to die now. my existence is probably a fatal flaw..
  2. Wreks1

    Wreks1 Member

    Man, i feel like that a lot of the time. At the end of the day you need to remember one thing, your no different from anyone else. And you should never give up. I have a few good friends but never as many that i wanted to have. But then again i know who my "real" friends are. When i need advice i know I'm gonna hear something that's real and genuine, fake friends just take advantage..

    It's good to have a few goals... that's a start to improving things man. Take time to think of things worth living for and just focus on that.. like for me it's money so i'm working my ass off and saving up so i can do sumthin in the future.... also looking for a nice girlfriend but think that eventually that will take care of itself.. am a bit self conscious because ive always been aware of how i look and not always had the confidence..

    Sometimes i feel like shit because i get people hating on me for no reason - maybe because i look different, do things differently... people try to mug me off. Girls take the piss and call me an ugly **** or sumthin.. but their just hoes lol. Then i'll have days where i get a shit load of compliments that make me feel like im on top of the world...

    life is what you make of it, your always gonna have good days and bad days but there's no reason to end your life short... can always talk to me man, i just like helping people cos i know what their feelin sometimes...

    i only came across this site for some advice i would never commit suicide, i think if people want to then that's their decision but there's too many reasons to live for.. stay strong mate
  3. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hey Theripped. I am so glad you posted here. I can personally relate to what you say. I have felt it before manyyyy times.

    I do want you to know that the depression area of the forums is not as well travelled as the suicide area. or the crisis area. I think that if you reach out there, you will even get many more responses. And feel less alone. I hope you will do that. Because many people will want to read your words. more people than who come to the depression area.

    Please hang on. Just keep coming here. Its a wonderful supportive place. Where people can say how they feel. We can be honest. And get really great support. As the song says. keep hanging on. I already care
  4. alexman

    alexman Banned Member

    same here
  5. theripped

    theripped Member

    Thanks, i feel much better today..

    though, i have no idea what to do. an official letter came today, i have to serve the army for 2 yrs..
  6. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Can you talk to your Doctor about writing a document to the army that you are not in condition, at this time, emotionally to serve?
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