I sit and think about my life, how pathetic, sad and stupidly worthless it is. There's nothing special in my life, nothing special about me. Each day that goes by is the same every day because either I'm too tired, feeling too low or I just don't have the courage to go and try new things. I feel very alone and thinking about how pathetic I feel makes me want to cry. It feels like I'm in my own world where no one cares and they can look at me and see the shell. The shells which tells people I'm alright but inside the shell is a scared little girl who is fearful of life and what it's going to throw at her. I'm wrapped inside my own cocoon, I hardly ever leave it. I want to be left alone but at the same time I crave people to care about me, to hug me, and to tell me everything will be okay. Through the day I talk to one person one to one - my dad. I used to have friends but now they don't give a shite about me. If I was to drop dead tomorrow I truely don't think they would even notice. Everyone has moved on. And here I am stuck, wanting to do things but my mind and my body is saying 'no, give up'. I'm tired of being the person I am. I have so many faults it feels as though I can't keep up with the world. Human existance isn't all it's cracked up to be.