Depressing post inside

[resistance]

I sit and think about my life, how pathetic, sad and stupidly worthless it is. There's nothing special in my life, nothing special about me. Each day that goes by is the same every day because either I'm too tired, feeling too low or I just don't have the courage to go and try new things. I feel very alone and thinking about how pathetic I feel makes me want to cry. It feels like I'm in my own world where no one cares and they can look at me and see the shell. The shells which tells people I'm alright but inside the shell is a scared little girl who is fearful of life and what it's going to throw at her.

I'm wrapped inside my own cocoon, I hardly ever leave it. I want to be left alone but at the same time I crave people to care about me, to hug me, and to tell me everything will be okay. Through the day I talk to one person one to one - my dad. I used to have friends but now they don't give a shite about me. If I was to drop dead tomorrow I truely don't think they would even notice. Everyone has moved on. And here I am stuck, wanting to do things but my mind and my body is saying 'no, give up'.

I'm tired of being the person I am. I have so many faults it feels as though I can't keep up with the world. Human existance isn't all it's cracked up to be.

 

[Twisted F]

Wow, you could be talking about me, exept that the person I talk to is my mom. I’m scared of life too, and it has made me completely isolated. I wish I could help you, but I’m stuck myself and not seeing any way out of this. Sorry. I hope you’ll feel better soon.

T F

 

[ACRon]

Yeah its easy to get stuck down there, sometimes for days/weeks at a time. Every now and then you find something to live for, like a joke, a song, some good company, anything. I really hope you find something to get you out of that. For example, This morning I actually saw the postman get chased out of my neighbours yard by his doberman. I creased with laughter (Im so going to hell) the postie stood the other side of the fence shitting himself while the dog was going mental, he was grabbing his chest and weezing he was so scared. I didn't think that stuff really happened. But I totally forgot about my problems, all be it at someone else's expense.

Sorry I couldn't comment on your situation but I'm no good with advice, just wanted to say that the slightest enjoyable thing can change your whole outlook on life.

 

[TheBLA]

Resistance, every single word in your post is EXACTLY like my situation. Wow. :ohmy:

I'm also quite fearful of life, the real world and want to be in my little safe place the rest of my life but that just ain't possible, I have to venture out someday, that thought really scares me.
I wasn't raised properly and I've turned out to be far less mature and developed than others my age. I may be 19, but I'm also 10 as well you know?
:huh:

I used to have friends long back but I lost them after growing up and they are much better off than me, much more happier. I have only my parents and brother to care about me.

I do feel that life is great, its just that I'm a loser, I'm the one at fault that can't fully grasp it and enjoy it for what it is. I just want to be trapped in my own little world, watching TV, playing videogames be on the computer the rest of my life, hahaha.

I hope its releiving to you that there's someone in your exact same position, I'm glad to see I'm not alone. :smile:

 

[wienerman]

res hun, yuo have no idea how much i wish i was that person who would hold you and tell you everything will be alright. as for the friends things naturally change and people move on, it is nothing to take personally, i have had the same happen with me. i know i say this a lot, but you are loved so much on here i dont even thing that you know how much people care for you on here.

 

[Sa Palomera]

res hun, yuo have no idea how much i wish i was that person who would hold you and tell you everything will be alright. as for the friends things naturally change and people move on, it is nothing to take personally, i have had the same happen with me. i know i say this a lot, but you are loved so much on here i dont even thing that you know how much people care for you on here.

copy that! Res, sweets, we CARE for you! we LOVE you!

here if you need me *sends a huge hug*

xxx
Est

 

[itachi]

Res
ishtar is Right
We Really Do Care
Every1 has faults hun noone is perfect.
We are your Friends and we DO give a Shite.
Hang in there Sweetie.
Lots and Lots of Luv Josh.

 

[resistance]

Thank you for your kind words. :hug: I don't know what I'm meant to be feeling and the things I used to love such as drawing, painting, writing, and playing snooker and pool are things I'm just not interested in anymore. I used to play pool and snooker every single day from when I was 7 up until the age of 14 and I used to love it, I would play professional players who played for money with others and I beat them almost all the time and I remember the chairman of the club saying, 'When you become famous, don't forget to mention me'. Haha. Yeah, now I just don't care. Every day slips though my hands and I know I'm wishing my life away but at the same time, I do want to make something of my life, I just can't find the energy and enthusiam to do so. Meh... I don't know. Thanks anyway. :hug:

 

[nicesinging1]

Hi, resistance. I am sorry to hear you are not feeling well. But I can no doubt relate to what it feels to depressed and hopeless as a person with severe depression. I know nothing seems exciting, happy and it is hard to see the light at the end of tunnel.
I encourage you to find a hobby that can occupy ur mind, keep writing journals to reflect on what u learned from each day. I am not sure if u will concur on this but we live in a brutally competitive, cold, individualistic world. There are so many competitions to get ahead, to be better than everyone else and that can get anyone feel overwhelmed.
As for being lonely, I encourage you to make friends from not only college, but church, neighborhood or other venues. Of course, make sure they are good-hearted people who mean u no harm. It is better to have 3 or 4 best friends than 10 or 11 so-so friends.
Last but not least, I believe you are very young, probably early 20's at most. You have so much future ahead of you. Suppose the average life expectancy is 80 yrs old, you have almost 60 yrs of life left. You have plenty of time to turn things around and live happy, successful, fun life. Certainly time is plenty. I know things seem tough now but please hold on and keep fighting for ur future. Work toward ur dream. Never lose ur passion for what you want to achieve.
Wish u the best.

-Hank-