This is my first post so I'm not to sure how this all works, but I'm going to give expressing my feelings a go. When I was 14, I was diagnosed with general anxiety, depression, social anxiety and ADHD and am currently on Medication for ADHD and sertraline for the anxiety and depression. I have tried coming of the anti-depressants various times as I don't like the side effects of feeling tired and lack of energy. I started on 100mg which went to 200mg a few months ago when I started struggling again. I have tapered down to just 25mg a day and I feel very emotionally drained and quite suicidal to be honest. I'm having lots of problems in my relationship and I'm in the process of finding a job and I just feel like every day is a challenge to get through! My boyfriend is 17 years older than me and we keep arguing over petty things, jealously ect.. We split up every week then get back together and I can't move on from it! The relationship is so tense and we need to split up but we can't let each other go!! It's horrible, how do I let him go?? :'( My family has a history of mental illness and my brother who is 15 is struggling lots with social anxiety and getting out the house to socialise. He has recently tried killing himself and has self harmed which is upsetting to see. I feel like suicide is the only way out and I wouldn't think twice about killing myself if it didn't effect my family but I couldn't put them through that again. I have attempted overdose twice and rushed to hospital. I just don't value my life, I just want to sleep all day and stay in a shell. I find it hard talking about it so keep it bottled up inside, I don't have any friends because of my social anxiety, I feel awkward around people and when I speak out loud I go bright red which is so embarrassing, it stops me going out! How do I stop the blushing??? It's ruining my life.