Depression and madness

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by DrNick1010, Dec 4, 2010.

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  1. DrNick1010

    DrNick1010 Well-Known Member

    I'm having a relatively good day in the sense that I'm not feeling suicidal and even though I'm alone right now, I'm not afraid. I am feeling depressed. Whenever I get like this, I am completely unmotivated to do anything, even leave the house to go get food. I've also noticed that I spend an obsessive amount of time online and time slips away from me. Another thing I've noticed is that I have small hallucinations, momentary glimpses of people entering the room, feeling presences around me, or seeing black spots in my vision. If I sit for too long, my mind wanders into fantasies that are vivid and frightening, like a waking dream. I feel like I'm losing my mind. It can be very difficult for me to tell the difference between reality and dreams I've had. Is this normal for depression? Or is it the beginnings of schizophrenia? Sometimes I also feel bipolar, depressed for long stretches of time and then unable to control myself in laughing. Is this symptomatic of a larger condition or is it just psychosomatic? Do I need immediate medication or is stuff like this relatively normal for depression?
  2. chickee

    chickee Active Member

    I'm not a doc so I don't know for sure. Have you gotten checked out by a psych yet?
  3. DrNick1010

    DrNick1010 Well-Known Member

    I haven't gone in for a psych evaluation yet. I know it may sound ridiculous but I have a lot of work to do in the next two weeks with my graduate school, finals and such, and I don't feel I can take the time for it. Not to mention I'm still utterly terrified of the whole experience. I guess what I'm asking with my original question is if anyone had had similar experiences to what I'm going through.
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    how is your sleep? i've had hallucinations, heard voices from not sleeping. psychosis can be part of alot of different diagnoses, bipolar is the one i'm most familiar with. it won't take long to see a doctor, at least get the process started. better safe than sorry i say.
  5. CatherineC

    CatherineC Staff Alumni

    I'm bi polar and I've had experiences similar to yours. As long as you're not actually sucidal, it won't hurt to wait a couple of weeks until your finals are over. If you become suicidal, you need to get help straight away though.
    The whole process of diagnosis and treatment isn't scary. It's more annoying than anything and (in my experience) you have to do a lot of the work yourself.
    Keep a mood diary. If it's too hard to write do a smiley/sad face instead. That way you can find out how your mood cycles. That will help a lot with the diagnosis.
    Once you have the diagnosis, you then have to get the right combination of meds and that can be a pain in the neck. Stick it out though, its worth it for the right combo.
    Learn as much as you can about your own mood swings and then find coping strategies which work for you. We can all help with that, so keep posting.
    Be realistic, you won't get better overnight.
    I think the hardest part of all is accepting that you have an illness. I spent years being really resentful of it. Still get like that occassionally to be honest but I cope better now.
    Learn everything you can about mental health, knowledge is power!
    Be strong, don't be afraid to ask for support, and don't ever stop fighting!
    Sending hugs
  6. pileofgarbage

    pileofgarbage Member

    Exactly how is seeing a shrink supposed to make you safe? You're just setting yourself up to lose your liberty based on their opinion of you.
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