I was sexually abused by my step brother when he was a teenager. This whole "Dugger" issue has brought all the bad feelings back. I am beginning to feel suicidal again and I am having ECT every 2 weeks. I shouldn't be having these thoughts while I am having ECT! I don't know who to tell. I really don't WANT to tell anybody. I think I just want to be swallowed up by my thoughts. I need help but don't want to bother anyone and really don't want to talk about it. Help me please.