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depression and watching others live their life

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Oceans, Jun 25, 2010.

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  1. Oceans

    Oceans Well-Known Member

    I have noticed that long-term depression takes your life away. I watch everyone around me live their life, their life is moving forward, while I am stuck in this hole getting older but making no progress in my life.

    Does anyone feel this way and/or how did cope with it, or how do you rationalise it, or what thoughts cross your mind about this issue?
  2. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    Maybe you could try making small acts of progress.
    Are there are things that you enjoy doing?
    Anything you would like to learn?
    Then everyday try to dso something so you get feeling that you have done something, learn something so that day not totally wasted.
    Depressed people often have lot of potential.
    It just blocked.
    Maybe if you make little effort you can gradually unblock it.
  3. Young suicider

    Young suicider Well-Known Member

    You are definatly not alone.

    How do you cope with it?I don't know but when you do know PM me.
  4. loser

    loser Well-Known Member

    Is that question addressed to us all?
    To be honest I am coping with it extremely badly but my problem is sort of complicated.
    But the people who cope with it take one step at a time and focus on what needs to be done, what they can do, what interests them.
    A lot of us waste hours brooding and then brood about the hours we waste brooding and it can enormously difficult to break our of that especially when the world seems populated with people waiting to jump on you, criticise you, make your feel bad about yourself.
    And there is so much horrible bureaucracy blighting our lives.
    So, ideally, you just tackle everything one step at a time.
    Keep busy, keep calm, and let the awful things people say or do to you roll off you like water off a duck's back.
    Others may have different ideas about coping strategies and i hope will tell us about them
  5. Suic

    Suic New Member

    Depression is a state of low mood and aversion to activity.Depression is a predictable response to certain types of life occurrences, such as loss of status, divorce, or death of a child or spouse. These are events that signal a loss of reproductive ability or potential, or that did so in humans' ancestral environment. Depression can be seen as an adaptive response, in the sense that it causes an individual to turn away from the earlier (and reproductively unsuccessful) modes of behavior.
  6. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Oh yeah, depression has totally put my life in a standstill while others just zoom forward like normal people. Then, your depression only gets worse and you want to accomplish less and fall further behind in the race. Its a vicious cycle. :(
  7. lachrymose27

    lachrymose27 Well-Known Member

    i have been making no progress in my life since I turned 22 (now 25). well, I've made progress but that haven't gotten me anywhere. more like, they were just a temporary escape from reality. I really don't know the perfect way of coping with it. I just think of the different possibilities that I can take if one doesn't work out.. Most of the time the word suicide flashes in my head. But I'm not that miserable yet.. though probably soon..
  8. Mama_Pills

    Mama_Pills Well-Known Member

    My thought exactly :(
  9. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    I'm 53 now, but I have struggled all of my life. I've always done what I could. I used the energy of youth to work and get my kids raised. I dealt with bizarre circumstances at different times.

    My accomplishments are basic ones, but, they are mine. No one can take them from me. With that said, I see many of my relatives excel in many ways, including money. Some of them have experienced some bizarre things but they had money to deal with it.

    I have major depression recurrent, ptsd, and a working memory deficiency, and other stuff too. I worked positions that did not involve a lot of public contact and I kept a running log of the work day and I filed documents immediately to deal with the working memory problem.

    People mostly saw me as a quiet and good person and I can't complain about that. Some people thought of me as stuck up because of my shyness. My father said I was a bad mother because my children were assertive with him which he viewed as disrespectful.

    I raised my girls assertive because I didn't want them having people walk all over them. I'm doing that for my step daughter too. I view this as my biggest accomplishment. If I have saved them from some of the anguish I experienced I'm so happy.

    I've also shared my faith with them as I live it and learn it not as a demand on them. As a result, they too have turned to Jesus for salvation, and the hope of living and working with him someday. I don't claim this as an accomplishment because I shared my faith while it is the Holy Spirit that draws people to God.

    All in all, I still have a lot of personal pain running around inside of me. I have constant physical pain as well, and I'm grateful for pain medication. This along with the genetic family trait of depression I can sink real low.

    Even so, I look at my reality and seek out what I can do and try not to focus on what I can't do. I put myself on a simple schedule of going to all church meetings and the knitting group. That's as much scheduled stuff I can do. How I meet this schedule each week is an indicator of how I'm doing. The occasional doctor appointment or visit to family is okay for me. It's the doing of too much that takes me down fast.

    I have simple (and cheap) interests I can do and I have people I see a few times a week. And I have God, my father in Heaven. I've got it pretty good.

    Even though I'm impoverished in America, I'm rich compared to many in the world. Most people in the world walk every where and only 10% of the worlds population own a pair of shoes. I have about 20 pair of shoes and a beat up old car. We in the industrialized world do not realize how rich we really are.
  10. EmptyLife

    EmptyLife Well-Known Member

    This has been a lifelong problem for me.
  11. bluegrey

    bluegrey Antiquities Friend

    As Chargette said a very full life is all around you if you stop to recognize all of your blessings and appreciate experiences with friends. I do agree though that it is hard to watch people have careers and raise families while I am so severely held back by depression but even these fortunate lives have unseen pressures, infirmities and heartaches.
  12. notmyrealname

    notmyrealname Well-Known Member

    It depends a lot on the person I think. I'm 28 and have been sucidally depressed since at least 7. Coping stratigies are going to change over time, what worked for you 5 or even 1 year ago may not work for you anymore and then you try to find some other way to cope or you just stumble onto one. For me it started with reading when I was young, fantasy books only as they gave the best escape. Then it was computer/console games. Then wow. That I won't say what my recent coping angle is gives some clue as to what I've found but pm me if you want the details.
  13. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I tried coping with it,that did not work. So I finally decided to do something about it. My life doing things the way I thought they should be done obviously wasn't working so I opened my mind and did the opposite of what I was used to doing. I accepted what I rejected and rejected what I used to accept. Five years later and I still do not have regrets. My life is great and only getting better. Hallelujah!
  14. Matrias

    Matrias Active Member

    im in the same boat, im 22 no job no gf and i have no career interests. i see little point in my existance. my only 2 friends are most likely only still in contact with me bcus we were 1st friends in primary school.

    sometimes you just feel like the lonelyist person in the world :(
  15. Mystic

    Mystic Well-Known Member

    I can fully empathise with this.

    I feel I am in a cage which is somehow placed outside normal reality. In this cage is basically nothing, nothing changes and nothing can change. But outside this cage is the real world where things happen, things change, things move forward. People have relationships, friends & aquaintences, people achieve and realise ambition and dreams.

    But I'm stuck here and all I can do is look, because I am 'outside' everything.
  16. Edgar Roni Figaro

    Edgar Roni Figaro Well-Known Member

    I can completely relate to watching the world pass you by in accomplishments. I am 27 now and have become almost totally paralyzed because of my depression. I am down to basic thing like taking a shower and brushing my teeth, an aside from that and maybe picking up my clothes from the floor and putting them in the hamper, all I can do is sleep.
  17. prakash

    prakash Well-Known Member

    I read this post and was impressed. I am happy for you. It seems you are managing your problems very well. I like your attitude towards your poverty. Good luck.
  18. fooror

    fooror Well-Known Member

    I do look around at other people and see that (at least on the surface) they seem perfectly fine. Even people in the same position as me, just don't seem to care or be affected by it at all, while at the same time I am wallowing in despair and pestilence. It's selfish to say, but it makes me feel quite bitter when I see people feeling fine and joyous....and also a little jealous that I can't be the same way.

    Still, I do wonder how they are really feeling inside. As with most depressed people, I've gotten pretty good at putting on an act, and most do not know just how low and tormented I actually feel. I wonder if it is the same for any of those that I see that seem to be happy - whether they themselves are in despair too and are just hiding it.

    No way to know I suppose.
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