Depression & apathy

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by tired82, May 20, 2008.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. tired82

    tired82 Well-Known Member

    I recently had a severe depression episode with suicide thoughts. Now I've been seeing a psychiatrist & am on zoloft & celexa. The psychiatrist pointed out that I've been suffering from minor depression for the last 20 years, based on what I'd told her.

    Over the last 1.5 years, when things began to happen that finally broke the dam, I've felt very apathetic to a lot of things. Work is the main one. I don't care if my performance sucked; didn't care that the last few raises wouldn't help my poor financial situation. I certainly didn't care if they fired me, though I wanted to be laid-off & I don't see that happening.

    It's hard to see a bright future with the depression, and I've accepted the fact that I may live out my life alone, without a family of my own. This should bother me, but it doesn't. It's like I've accepting my fate, & I'm too tired to fight it.

    My family has been helping me get back on my feet by getting me to do what I need to do. Even with a to-do list, I find it hard to follow it. It gets put off to the next day, or it gets half done. I realize the severity of the consequences, and immediate action is nedded, but I just can't focus my mind to care a little more to do the job.

    Anyone else having this situation?
  2. kittyD

    kittyD Well-Known Member

    Yes, yes and yes.
    I am a terrible procrastination when Im in the best of times. In the throes of a major depression...This is a important deep seated problem with me and i have no idea about the reasons. I wonder if its a form of denial at times. Or that I want to show that I can pull anything out at the last minute. I have lost so so much just because I put off doing everything. I hate makeing appts for anything, because I know I'll probably miss it. Its bad when you are suicidal but can't be bothered to do it because your too apathetic! Thats me to a tee.
    I've considered being included in a 'wrap-around' project where all kinds of groups help you get you back on your feet. But I know that very quicklky I'd start to feel resentment when I'd be pushed to do what is necessary. I hope you get some great responses here, I'm interested in them also.
  3. delargeal

    delargeal Well-Known Member

    I concur.

    I too see no future. As much as I would love to marry and have kids of my own, I don't see it happening. In many ways I've accepted that I'm going to die, but I still fight it. God knows why.
  4. tired82

    tired82 Well-Known Member

    Yeah, procrastination is a huge flaw of mine. If I had a nickle everytime I've said "I'll do it later"..... I had planned out my suicide, but I procrastinated on things like writting letters, etc. That just left me in more misery because I couldn't do it.
  5. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Completely understand this feeling..if I say tomorrow one more time to myself I may well start screaming. :dry:
    What makes it worse, is when things don't get done a terrible anxiety settles on me and seems to paralyse me to the chair...meaning even less gets done.
    Can't win either way.
  6. Stranger1

    Stranger1 Forum Buddy & Antiquities Friend

    I to am a procrastinator, I live at my sisters house because i'm on disability and she is my caregiver. I have a few chores to do and I find it hard to get motivated to do them.
    I have just joined the suicide forum a couple of weeks ago. Reading alot of the posts and new threads I see alot of other peoples misery fits me to a tea.
    As far as the depression goes I have been fighting it most of my adult life.Well good luck.
  7. delargeal

    delargeal Well-Known Member

    I also tend to procrastinate. Not out of reasons for not wanting to do anything, just simply because I can't and even if I try I end up stopping after about half an hour.

    I've got a big assignment due in on friday and should currently be sat here writing it, yet am not, no matter how much I want the grades.

    I also owe my lecturers another essay that was realistically supposed to be in in like february or something. Good thing about this is aslong as it's there by't end of the year they don't worry too much.

    Last thing I did that could classify as work was write about 500 words (could've sworn I wrote more though) for one of my personal writing projects, the only one I've managed to keep a decent level of interest in.
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.