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Depression cause by weed?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Hurted, Mar 21, 2008.

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  1. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    This is going to be long, but please read it cause i have never been so low in my whole life.
    After 3,5 months i have smoked weed again in wednesday. I realize, that it has huge impact on my depression and, which started in September 2007…
    At that time, it was hard for me. I almost got gf, but i screwed up. I get in argue with half friends, i find out that they talk behind my back (i still tell them everything about me, how can i stop?) This things make me really depressed... but pot make it only worse. I realize that i am ugly and that i look stupid and funny, i realized that i dont have real friends, i realizead that i have pretty severe problems with social anxiety, but i didnt even notice it before or thing that its strange (i am very talkative, but ussualy i cant relax and dont know how to act in front of other people)... I always hide my negative thoughts and run away from problems to my world of fantasies…
    In Wednesday i realize few new things... It will change my life forever... i find out few new things... One of them is, that i notice that i will have fucked up life. If i wont do something with school, i will get bad job and will suffer whole life. I also realized that i am totally dependant from my parents and others... For every small thing i need opinions from others (school, hair, dressing, acting, etc...).... Plus one thing... i realize that i cant have normal relationships.... First i see people as extremly smart, amazing, i totally love them, but after 1 month, i start thinking that they are stupid, that they will screw they're lives etc... And for all my friends my opinion about them jumps... sometimes i love them, next day i hate them... Its the same on all areas of my life... First i get new idea, i get tottaly excited, then soon i think that its bad idea... I am so confused... Why do i have to change my opinion all the time? I even cant sleep sometimes because i think whats right late into the night... Can this be a disorder? I dont know how long i will live like that... Every single thing i do is extremly bad habit (smoking, binge eating, being lazy, siting in front of computer all days, unhealthy eating, going to bed lately...)
    Is it possible to change all that stuff? I guess it isnt, but even if i want to change few of them, the road is going to be extremly hard. I dont know what to do with my life. I simply dont... I dont know where to start.... how to motivate myself... how to avoid traps like cuting, drugs, niccotine, i really dont know... I dont know how thats possible... But i guess that this happen if you are doing mistake with every move for 17 years...

    I have really really weak personality…

    I dont want to die. I doubt that my wish to be death will ever be stronger than wish to life. But i am weak. I am failure. I am mistake. Every fucking thing i do is just another mistake. I cant beleive how big looser i am, and i cant help myself... I set myself few small goals like less eating, less smoking... But i fucked even small things like this...
    Please help me cause my situation seems hopeless:(

    Love you all:hug:
  2. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    I was overreacting a little. I mean its true that most things i do are mistakes but i was a little too hard on myself...

    Plus one strange thing... i feel good right now... really good... probaly because after few hours panic feelings has finaly get away...
  3. Dreamer uk

    Dreamer uk Well-Known Member

    :hug: Love you too

    Depression is a debilitating disease, if you want to call it that, you have to fight it. Cannabis can have a way of showing you the truth, it is a bit of a phillosophers drug, maybe that is why it is making you depressed. Also there are different cannabinoids in different types of weed that has different effects. Some have a more antidepressant effect and others have a sedatory effect, which is not good if you're feeling lazy.

    One of the best things you can do is embrace physical culture. Exercise and train for strength consistently and mother nature will do the rest.

    Write down a plan, do something to make you feel better about yourself, read some books on willpower & motivation. Set yourself some goals to work towards, it doesn't matter if you slip, as long as you keep taking steps in the right direction. Nicotine is very addictive, I smoke way too much, and food is something pleasurable as well and hard to cut down. Try to follow a sensible diet plan. You need to work yourself up to get the motivation, write a list of all the reasons why you want to achieve your goal then keep reminding yourself of it. Things worthwhile are never easy, you have to be determined, and you will get there, I have faith in you.

    Take care
  4. dazzle11215

    dazzle11215 Staff Alumni

    have you read about borderline personality disorder?

    from what i've read a common trait of people with BPD is to be totally black and white about people... one minute you love them, they are on a pedestal, then, you totally reject them, hate them, scorn them.... nothing in between.

    google it and see if any of the symptoms ring a bell?

  5. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I've never felt (more) depressed by weed. Alcohol was the drug that depressed me beyond belief. I thought I was drowning my sorrows, but they didn't die, they came back... and brought their friends. :sad:
  6. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    Thanks for replys... Well it wasnt caused only by weed, 1000 other things happen to me, but weed defenetly helped...
    I will check about bordeline personality...
  7. SadDude87

    SadDude87 Well-Known Member

    I have a feeling weed played a part in my depression. When I smoked it, I got in a state and came to some realisations about myself. I had aspects of my self which I kept so hidden I almost forgot they were there ..... like they may not even be real. But weed brought them out of me, and I became consciously aware of them again. The weed didn't emphasise any positives about myself, only the negatives I'd kept hidden. And since then, it feels like the negatives are always accentuated. I don't know if this makes any sense to anyone else but it does to me.
  8. Hurted

    Hurted Well-Known Member

    same here man
  9. Angelo_91

    Angelo_91 Well-Known Member

    thats what u call a bad trip.
    weed messed up your head, i used to smoke it everyday, not only did it consume a fuck load of money but it fucked my head up and i lost touch to reality.

    i suggest u cut down at least
  10. Random

    Random Well-Known Member

    Well, if you're already down, you probably shouldn't consume any drugs at all without talking with a doctor. Since weed is illegal, you're probably better off just leaving it alone if you already have a lot of problems.

    Personally? For me? I smoked it for a couple of years. It didn't make things any worse but it didn't really make them any better, either. But it has different effects on different people from what I gather. I'd smoke it right now if I had some but I wouldn't advise anyone else to do it.
  11. Patch

    Patch Well-Known Member

    arrrg, I read your post and thought to myself "If they know weed makes them feel crappy, why didn't they just not smoke it?", and like 5 minutes later I was seriously contemplating a very baaaaad phone call. I'm very much a hypicrite. I'm sorry. I hope you feel better. I hope that if you do get into a another fog, that its not as intense :(
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