I came home from work today and laid on the hard floor for hours. I couldn't move. It hurts to get up in the morning and I just sit, waiting to be alone. I feel so tired and low, my physical well being is now involved. How do I find people who understand this to talk to? I don't want pills that make me complacent. I just want someone to see me. I would give everything away if I could find a single piece of a real connection in this short life. Everything is a lie and every day gets a little worse. Please, someone, tell me I can feel alive again. I can't take this pain anymore. I am so lucky to have friends, but every time I try to express how I feel they turn away. I don't blame them. I really don't think some people who haven't experienced anything like this know how to react when confronted with it. Still, I feel so alone. Note: I have no intention to kill myself. Please don't think I am. I think about it constantly, but I promised myself I will never do that. I have always been a man of my word. I may never respond to this forum.. I just need to vent sometimes. Don't think I am dead somewhere if I don't. Typing these words already eased some of the pain.