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Depression hurts.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by whoaaxxsamm, Jul 13, 2010.

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  1. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    I don't know what to do anymore.
    I've been in and out of hospitals for years now.
    Now that I'm 18 I feel there is no hope fore me.
    I'm scared.
    My mom might be kicking me out; well is, unless I changed.
    Why can't she love me for who I am?
    The rest of my family has pretty much disowned me, refusing to talk to me.
    My dads loves his girlfriend, that he has only known for a year, more than me.
    Oh, he told me that by the way.
    My sister is developmentaly delayed. I would not have her any other way.
    She is non-verbal. It hurts me that she cannot tell me she loves me.
    I love her more than anything in the world.
    I feel I have no one but her and my boyfriend.
    I'm tired of hurting others. I'm tired of hurting myself.
    I don't want to feel sorry for myself.
    I'm a horrible person and I feel I can no longer live with what I've done, what I am doing, what I will do in the futur.
    I'm a lost cause.

    In the end. I look at all of this, and say to myself.
    "I don't have it all that bad, why am I hurting so much.
    Why do I want to end my life so badly?"
  2. Chargette

    Chargette Well-Known Member

    It's all in the title of your post. Depression hurts.

    I was diagnosed with depression at 15 years old and I'm 53 now. Depression has hurt me all of my life, however, I've learned to take the good from each day and leave the rest.

    I take care of what I'm responsible for and I've learned to not take on more that I can handle. Beyond that, people are the best treasures. Don't sweat the material stuff because things can't love you.

    I hope you feel better. :hug:
  3. whoaaxxsamm

    whoaaxxsamm Well-Known Member

    Thank you. :)
    In a way that makes me feel better, in another way, it scares me.
    I'm 18 years old, and cannot remember a time were I was not depressed.
    I had no child hood, and fear I will have no adulthood.
    I don't want to be depressed all of my life. :(
  4. Daphna

    Daphna Well-Known Member

    I personally believe we suffer from depression because our spirit is yearning for the love only Yahweh can provide. When I was seperated from Yahweh, I was lonely and depressed. I was also spiritually dead, and wanted my physical body to catch up, but my spirit is alive and well now that I get my spiritual food [Yahweh's word]. Not to mention his love fills me up and overflows into everything I do. Hallelujah! Bipolar to me felt as if I was possessed by a demon [which I am no longer suffering from either.] I prayed for that to be taken from me, and I was relieved from it over the course of three days. So I guess we all have our beliefs as to why we suffer from things. :) My faith in Yahweh has proven to be the answer to everything to me. I would never want to go back to being without him EVER. :) Blessings..
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