Depression is a magnet (Triggering)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Jagroen, Jun 19, 2012.

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  1. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    Lately, ive been so demotivated that i done see the point of going on.

    Im in my second semester of College, the semester is a condensed one so its 7 weeks to do 15 weeks worth of content.
    I missed a week due to being the hospital due to allergies

    I go back to find out im so far behind in all my classes that im going to fail most of them, and the select few i might pass...i just dont have that courage, strength or motivation or whatever you want to call it to keep going.
    Due to financial issues, I will be evicted in 11 days because the student loan i get only covers tuition and part rent but this semester goes to long.
    I feel like giving up now as this is the 3rd time ive attempted college...maybe im not in the right Field for Computer Security and Investigation...sometimes i wonder if i should take up psychology to figure out what the hell is wrong with me and how i can cope with it before i do end my life..

    i keep feeling im a failure to everyone around me, they all expect great news and actions from me..but i dont get any help to try and succeed.
    My roommate is always on the damm computer, never comes out of his room unless its to eat or bathroom...
    Best friend: In same class but i feel im holding him back since we always chill...yeah he stops me from finishing my life but at the cost of his education..its not good enough for me..

    As for myself, i cant go on like this anymore, im a failure to so many people...the real world wont notice if leave this unhealthly life of mine..
    I think its better off for the people who care for me to realise that the pain i will cause to them when i leave its less than the pain im enduring right now.

    Anyways, im going to fall asleep to this song:
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    No hun the pain will not be less for them if you leave hun it will be so much more. You can take some courses perhaps in the summer to make upfor the ones you fail I hopeyou continue to try hun ok hugs
  3. Jagroen

    Jagroen Well-Known Member

    well, my course now goes through the summer so im stuck feeling like this till january when i get to re evaulate my funding..
    but till then im nothing to myself and to others.. tonight im seeing a movie with my friend...hopefully it gets my mind off things for a little bit..
    cause the more i think bout my future, the deeper and easier ending my life becomes
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