I will first give a description of how a normal day for me is now. Wake up in the morning around 6:30, no food, just brush my teeth and that's it. Drive to work around 7:10. We start 8:00, But I'm at work around 7:30 every day. Make coffee at work. Browse many forums, including this a lot. Not working much really, just "surfing" and looking like a zombie. Lunch at work: No food again. Just coffee and water. My coworkers are trying to make me eat, and I must probably start eating something at lunch, just to make them quiet. After lunch, nothing much, small talk, and reading forums again. Drive home around 16:30, we are finnish at work at 15:30, but I have nothing at home waiting so I can just stay at work. Drive home, smoke a sigarett in the car, cry a bit. Arrive home, lay on the couch watch something on TV, drink water. No dinner. I lay on the couch all afternoon, also nights. So I sleep around 23:00. I'm so deeply depressed that I don't know where this will end. I'm starting to think about easy solutions again. Like ending it. I'm reading a lot about suicide, watching movies on youtube, and just gathering so much information about the subject. I know its morbid, but I can't help it. My self confidence is gone, not a single ounce of it is left in my body. I was on the scale today. 67 kg. around 135 pounds This is going no where. But I don't care. Family is still no talk. I will not go home this weekend, I will buy some beers and just drink all weekend.