I see this everywhere. On TV, on the web etc but how? I've been trying to get through by myself for so long but its just not working. I've literally lost the last 3 or so years of my life to depression. I almost never leave the house or even my room except to go to work. When I'm out in public I put up a great front, people have actually asked me how I'm so happy all the time. But I'm not. Im so awfully proud is my problem. I dont want anyone to think Im weak and I dont want to bring anyone else down so I just bottle it up. Its draining though and gradually I've just stopped wanting to be around people because I dont have the energy to be happy. Which makes me more depressed.. So this is destroying all aspects of my life. I had a girlfriend but she's gone. I dont do near as well at my job as I could because its hard to make myself care. College is the same way. I think I've finally bought that it could just be something wrong chemically or psychologically or something and that maybe theres hope but how do you treat it? With medication? I have no health insurance and am barely scraping by as it is, which is part of what makes me depressed in the first place. Even than I worry about becoming dependant on a drug even if I could find one that worked and I could afford. And I've read that alot of anti-depressants can cause you to become more depressed. I'm so down now, I dont know If I could take being more depressed. Talking to people doesnt work either because frankly, noone cares. Some people may try to listen but ultimately everyone has their own stuff going on and unless you're paying them by the hour, noone wants the burden. I even found a suicide hotline and called it just because I wanted to talk to SOMEONE, anyone.. you know? I hung up after several minutes on hold.. Lol, even on a suicide hotline noone has the time. So.. what do you do?