Depression is.

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Pink Teardrops, Aug 31, 2012.

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  1. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    depression is when you can't sleep and you get so bored looking at your roof, that you spend weeks nights contemplating what to do with it only to find that you wouldn't have enough determination to do it.
    depression isn't always suicide.
    depression is obvious to only yourself. suicide is obvious to everyone.
    depression is and always will be my and many others, ways of life.
    depression runs my life. makes me do things i shouldn't do.
    depression is that voice in the back of your head telling you that you need help.
    depression makes you gain weight, lose weight, not eat, eat too much.. do drugs. give or take a few.
    depression has the feeling of death, without the dying part.
    depression is still killing you even if you have the best things in the world.
    depression isn't just having too little, it's having too much as well.
    depression is the killing of the broken pieces of your heart.
    depression is slow motion and fast motion at the same time.
    depression is the illusion that the world has turned it's back on you and everyone in it.
    depression is seeing happiness everywhere you go.
    depression is hoping to survive and hoping not to at the same time.
    depression isn't contemplating suicide, but wishing you were already there.
    depression is when the only thing that cares is the depression itself.
    depression is when you are at school/universityand you can't remember things you learnt the day before.
    depression is falling alseep in your favourite subject.
    depression is the hatred of your family.
    depression eats your insides with a smile on it's face.
    depression is the look in your eyes when you wake up in the morning, knowing you have to live another day.
    depression is yourself. you are depression.
    depression makes you who you are and who you'll always never want to be.
    depression makes you miss your old self, but once your better, you miss depression.
    but for me, mostly, depression is all of these, plus, depression is when you have had it so long that you are scared of who you will be when and if you get better. you wonder if you could survive happy and if the happiness would eat you.

    Depression is the sorrow in your heart…
    Depression is the feeling of being alone…
    Depression is knowing your best isn’t enough…
    Depression is knowing no one cares if your dead or alive…
    Depression is the hate and anger you get when life is too hard…
    Depression is when you feel like the worlds on your shoulders…
    Depression is the feeling that you get when you get when you know
    That what ever you do no one cares and it doesn’t matter…
    Depression is knowing when you tried tried and tried again but failed…
    Depression hits hard and harder every day…
    Depression is the feeling of dying slowly every day.

    Depression is me.
  2. Royalsapphire

    Royalsapphire Member

    Are you sure that you're fine?
  3. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    Depression is the worst disease anyone can have, in my opinion. It robs ones of desires, joys, pleasures, hopes, dreams, ambitions, drive, confidence, happiness, loved ones, etc.

    It has taken just about everything from me which I used to have. All it has to do now is to take my very own physical life, via suicide. It has already taken my life from the inside. :(
  4. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    I'm fine.
  5. Pink Teardrops

    Pink Teardrops Well-Known Member

    Stay strong <3
  6. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    I agree with everything you said. I know how you feel Rahul. :hug: I do hope it gets better for you!
  7. TheBLA

    TheBLA The biggest loser alive.

    The only positive thing I feel depression gives anyone is perhaps more kindness, compassion and understanding towards others suffering from depression or other mental diseases. I don't care how many books you've read, which psychology or psychiatry degrees you have, which schools you went to.

    You can never understand this crippling disease as well until you have been afflicted with it yourself, in my opinion. I have a renewed outlook towards those suffering mentally which I never had before suffering from depression and suicidal thoughts.
  8. pancake111

    pancake111 Well-Known Member

    This is what resegnates with me the most. I have become something I never understood because of depression. And the worst part is I'm afraid to live without it. I don't know how to feel without it. When I first started feeling better, all I wanted was for it to come back
  9. AlienBeing

    AlienBeing Well-Known Member

    Like this thread. I certainly don't worry about getting better and don't miss it when it's gone but there are many things I can relate to here. If I had to borrow pieces from you and Rahul I would say this:

    Depression starts with a voice in my head, telling me I need help.
    Depression is when I can't sleep and don't know what to do with myself, then decide I wouldn't have the motivation to do any of it anyway.
    Depression runs my life, makes me do things I shouldn't do, like eat too much and get fat.
    Depression is slow motion on the outside, but racing, spinning ruminations on the inside. I am very busy being depressed!
    Depression is not remembering things so much that I begin to mourn the demise of my intellect.
    Depression is abandoning my friends and family and being abandoned in return and not really caring all that much either because nothing matters anyway.
    Depression makes me who I am and never wanted to be.
    Depression makes me miss my old self and the person I could become. I mourn the loss of my potential every day.
    Depression becomes a way of life.
    Depression kills you from the inside out, leaving you with nothing and kills you all the same even if you have everything.
    Depression is hoping to survive and hoping not to at the same time.
    Depression is seeing happy people and hating it.
    Depression is killing the broken pieces of my heart.
    Depression is the illusion that the world has turned its back on me.
    Depression is the feeling of death without the dying part.
    Depression stares me in the face each morning with a menacing snarl and tells me I have to face another day.
    Depression is being alone to face it all and knowing most don't care if I'm dead or alive or would stop caring pretty fast after I was gone.
    Depression is hating myself and everything I stand for.
    Depression is trying and trying and failing and failing. My best is never good enough to beat it. I just die more and more everyday.
    Depression is obvious to nobody, but suicide is obvious to everyone. Only then would they know what I hide from everyone because I am so ashamed.
    Depression is shame.
    Depression is the worst disease anyone could have. It robs me of desires, joys, pleasures, hopes, dreams, ambitions, drive, confidence, happiness, loved ones, etc.
    It has taken everything I have and killed me from the inside out. And now it wants the rest of me, my very life.
    Depression is a terrible, terrible disease and I am so very,very ill with it.

    I just sent that to my pdoc via email. Thanks for the help with telling him how I really feel.
  10. SaraRose

    SaraRose Well-Known Member

    This thread hits me so hard because it is everything I feel/am. And as much as I hate it I don't see it ever changing. But just reading over this, it's like those check lists you see on the internet, the "bold if this fits you" kind. And if it was, I'd hafta bold it all.

    :hug: to all
  11. elisa

    elisa New Member

    and I'm your identical twin. :-(
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