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Depression Kicked Up A Notch

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Godsdrummer, Oct 23, 2009.

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  1. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    They say that laughter is the best medicine, and indeed it is quite good.

    But for me, the only thing that really truly helps me with my depression is my music. To be able to sit down on my throne behind my set of drums and put the headphones on, and after an hour, whatever problems or pain I am experiencing are gone. I emerge refreshed and renewed. Albeit, a bit sweatier.

    And...the Church band thing, well, that is just a miracle. Playing drums for me, is like, breathing air for everyone else. It is who I am. I had put that aside and forgotten it for 20 years. But now..now that I am back....now that I am in recovery mode, SHE shuts the door on my next step of recovery.

    I know...there are other things we could do with that money. But there will ALWAYS be other things we can do with that money.
    I have an opportunity now, to get a really decent kit, without any real financial hardship. A kit that blows the one I have right out of the water. Especially when the kit I have is just a rental that breaks down from time to time.

    I even told her last night, if it made her happy, I would take my rental kit back to the store and quit the church band. She told me, she didnt want that.

    But it makes her uncomfortable with my playing.

    I suppose I should surrender to the fact that I am stuck with a lousy broken down piece of crap kit, and be happy with that. Perhaps it would be better if I just stopped again. Afterall, I didn't play for 20 years. I could not play for the rest of my life.

    Damn it. I am really quite upset, very sad, and well my depression has now kicked back in, full blown.

    I should have never moved back in with her. Now I am stuck. Whatever happened to supporting each other?
  2. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Is there any way you could get a job or something to get the money for a new kit?

    Sorry, not really sure what to say but wanted to reply and send you a :hug:
  3. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    LOL. I work 2 jobs. I never EVER get anything for myself. When I buy clothing it's from Walmart. When the wife buys clothing for her and the kids, it's from Kohl's. Shit I should have known better. She had a full blown conipition when I got a coffee maker.
  4. *dilligaf*

    *dilligaf* Staff Alumni

    Ah :sad: Sorry I didnt know :sad:

  5. doratheexplorer

    doratheexplorer Banned Member

    Please help me.......????

    can someone help me. I don't know how to use this site at all. Can you send me a private message and explain how i can chat 1-on-1 with you so i can ask you a few questions. Tx a million. Sorry to disturb you.
  6. Godsdrummer

    Godsdrummer Guest

    Dreams are gone

    My dreams are dead.
  7. morfea

    morfea Antiquities Friend

    I hope you don't feel like that any more. Nobody's dream should be dead unless they want them to be. I'm sure there will be another opportunity for a new drum set, in the meantime don't stop doing something that gives you so much joy. I love music, drums especially, my favourite drummers are John Densmore and John Bonham, no special reason but that they were members of my favourite rock bands. Hope you keep on :)
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