My life sucks. It's not the worst it could be and there are others that have life far worse. That does nothing to change the way I feel. Mostly depression leads to frustration and that leads to rage. Not just anger but I either kill myself or I'm going to kill someone else rage. I break things, throw things, scream and just need to destroy. A lot of it is that I'm frustrated with how little control I have over anything. I'm constantly being forced to do things because while I have a choice (you always do), I really can't take the other option because it's just not possible. And when I do make an actual choice it seems to be the wrong one. It's also from the build up. I've been holding in so much to not make my problems somebody elses, that it's trying to get out. Seen a doctor. He just looks at me like I'm and idiot and need to suck it up. On Meds for the last month and absolutley no change, not even a minor one. I'm asked what I want others to do to help but I don't know. I've just run out of ideas. I've lost any drive. I wish they would just lock me up in a facility and that way I don't have to try and be part of this fucked up society.