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Depression or anxiety?

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by fam6236, Mar 7, 2014.

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  1. fam6236

    fam6236 Member

    I would like to know what it is that is really wrong with me. I am a worrier!!! I constantly worry about my future. Things that worry me the most is money. People say all I care about is money. Well it is easy for someone to say that money is not everything but when you do not have it, it is something to worry about. Do I have depression or is it anxiety?
    Here is my situation. I once had an easy life for 20 years. Making easy money and doing what I wanted at anytime. Well I went to jail for a drug crime and when I came out I feel my whole world had ended. I no longer had the easy life and actually had a child while I was gone and came home to a beautiful baby girl. Having kids is something I never wanted, but it is what it is now and I have to face this situatation. This situation has caused me to worry much more than ever. How am I going to raise my child? What am I going to fall back on for money? All I know is how to make easy money and I have no skills at 40 years of age. I really messed up! Life has caught up with me and now I am faced with what people at the age of eighteen go through.
    I cannot get through everyday of life! I am feeling overwhelmed and actually am thinking of ending my life. I have been through counseling and do not get anything out of that. My family has given up on me because they say I do not try to better myself. I take medication and I hate myself for what I have become. I am definetely losing my mind slowly. I cannot concentrate on anything my mind just wonders when I try to exercise or read or try to do anything productive. This is rock bottom and I do not know what to do.
    Am I depressed or is it pure stress and anxiety I am facing? The medication works in ways where I cannot cry anymore. It keeps my emotions in check, but it does not stop me worrying myself to death. I am worried about how I am going to support myself in the future, that is if I make it to the future.
    As I write this I am suicidal and am in desperate need of a miracle. What would you do in my shoes? I wish I could express myself in the right way where people really understood
  2. morning rush

    morning rush Well-Known Member

    I think that you have both. Anxiety and depression. Have you told your doctor about your worry thoughts and that they can't let you focus on other things because they are too big? I have generalized anxiety so I totally understand what you're going through, well the worry part and that your brain never stops thinking and worrying. If I don't take my meds, I don't sleep and I am paralyzed by the thoughts. When I take my meds it helps a lot, I am still worrying but it's not too overwhelming that I can't do anything. Well, some days I can't do anything because my anxiety is too intense, but most days I can do things.

    I can't get a normal job though. Not with my anxiety this high. I think the best thing for you would be to talk to your doctor so he/she can adjust the meds or give you new ones to help you function in life....

    and I know what it is to worry about money, since I can't get a normal job, I'm on welfare and I barely make ends meat...I wish there was a magic potion I could recommend to help you, but know that you are not alone and that I do understand you...
  3. soulreaper

    soulreaper Well-Known Member

    first thing to address is your mental state, not the money problem. take care of your heqalth first and all little things will follow afterwards, talk to a psychologist, best of luck friend.
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