I am back in a terrible depression at the moment and I haven't been able to get one decent night's sleep in months without a sleeping pill. Every noise is making me jump, everything is getting on my nerves and I can barely function beyond performing OCD compulsions. At the moment I feel I will never cycle out of this clinical depression again and I see dying as my only relief. I have no psychotic disorder but this isn't reality! I feel detestable, like everyone at SF is sick of me and everything in my environment- the house I'm living in, my town- the whole world is one big threat after another. I am so exhausted and delirious- I just wanted to make the point that depression wildly distorts your perception. If you feel you are in a depression- please remember to get help and ride it out before you impulsively attempt anything self destructive. I do not trust my insight at all right now.